


To need and Want

by Pirateking



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other, good Snape family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 13:32:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pirateking/pseuds/Pirateking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where wizards have their true 'one' and create bonds, young children dream of a fairy-tale ending to their life, while others wish for their life to be over.</p><p>Severus thought he'd find his one (hopefully Lily) and found another....two. Yet in a world where three is a crowd and the two you fall in love are in love with each other and hate you instead, could drive even a strong man to his knees. How far will Severus go to change his fate, to choose love, to want, not need. With the help of magic, will he do the unspeakable? Will he break his bonds?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Stars and Oxygen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added somethings you guys! and got a Beta! 
> 
> Severus starts to recall how and when his life started to spiral out of control.

1985 Severus Snape

Severus was not surprised that he found himself once again in the dungy back allies of Deagon Alley, he's become somewhat of a patrient with knowing nods of greating comming from unsavory shop owners and other frequent shoppers. He wasn't surprised that in surtain shop sellers gave him winks and nods when "special" orders where broaght in, No not much surpized the Possion master nor impressed him- he certainly is not impressed with the amount of alcohol that Regulus Black had just downed. Small vails of alchoholic concuctions never more then a finger's length away. The kid was fresh out of Hogwarts and already spiralling out of control, in the deeper parts of Severus’s mind he pitied Regulus but for the most part he was just disgusted. Here he was the _heir_ to the black fortune, the boy-no-man who would want for nothing and gets everything. Drowning out his sorrows for the 'one' thing he cannot have-the spoiled prat. 

If Severus was ½ the occlumency expert he was he would have Snarled something insightful to Regulus, but he wasn’t so instead he scowled at the younger man’s inability to hold his liqueur.

“Could you be anymore shitfaced Black?” snarling “ one pint and you’re already crying for some imaginative woman.” he peared down from his large nose, not so different from a volture eyeing it's meal. "You haven't even met her, let alone get your heart broken." Ah yes, Regulus like so many young wizard was searching desperately for his ‘one’ too bad that his mother was only letting him see pure blood witches.

“NO! She’s not imaginary!*hick-up* I just haven’t found her yet!” standing on his wobbly legs Regulus tried and failed miserably at punching Severus. The Black heir ended up sprawled on the floor of the ally. The Alley in which probably had more flesh eating bacteria and fungal diseases then a rotting carcass in Brazil. “Why can’t you just be nice *gag* to me!”

Crouching down to be at eye level with the drunken wizard, Severus all but hissed out “my picking you up from this place at such an ungodly hour is more than nice, you blubbering idiot.” Roughly his long poison stained fingers clutched onto Regulus’s silken hair. “Most noble house or not, If you do not pick yourself up from the ground I’ll drag you by your hair back to your mother…whom I may add sent a howler at me to pick up her _overzealous son_ and prevent him from giving the wrong impression of his persona to the world.”

“Shut up! I’m just having a drink! Why she always sending you anyways? You don’t even know her!” Severus tightened his massive hand over the younger wizards scalp.

“She won’t know _you_ , if you don’t get up!” his bad mood spiking up at the mention of Mrs Back and why she felt entitled to ordering Severus around.  “You will keep your mouth shut and not interfere with the apparition.” And with that he took Regulus back to the Black manner.  To house that kept within its door the dark penetrating all-knowing eyes of Mrs Back.  Taking Severus back to the years in which lead him to the mistress who handed him over the Dark Lord.

TIME SKIP  

 

The earliest memory that Severus has, is that of his father. Tobias Snape had four year old Severus on his shoulders, pointing at the night sky and explaining to young Severus the location of constellations. Severus could still feel the short wisps of light hair flowing through his fingers, his father’s hair had always fascinated Severus; each strand would curl and twist at the oddest of places. Unlike his own lanky volume less hair, his father’s hair always jutted out, prickly with static electricity.

By some misconception many people believed Tobias at being an abusive parent, Severus could remember no case that lead with any abuse, but perhaps it was the fact that his father was a boxing enthusiast that had Severus in every gym, mat, and poorly constructed ring since he could walk. Leading to several bruises and broken bones. Severus would never say anything of course since as his father had declaired it as “our little secret” and never would a son rat out his father. Tobias also had no idea what an inside voice was, so a normal conversation could at most times be heart across the street.

 Tobias was a rather intelligent man, he was the head chemist in a dynamite plant and tutored physics on the weekend.  He believed in logic, science and natural laws. Magic for him was none of these things, there for it was wickedness, he could not stand seeing his wife do magic and even less in seeing Severus. It was the main reason Tobias and Eileen screamed at each other. The other reason was the ‘nonsense’  of the ‘one’

You see, Tobias couldn’t wrap him mind around someone falling in love with another just by sight, he argued that one needed dates and knowledge of the persons back ground and family to find a compatible match. He had dated his mother for 5 years before marrying her, while she had been ready to marry him 6 years before their marriage.

His father while carrying Severus on his shoulders had explained that the greatest achievements by man was that of which was achieved by choice.  “Severus my boy, we need air, sunlight, and water to live but technology, science, books, poems, sport, friends, are all that the thing that we choose to love, they are all the things that make life worth living!”  he would then laugh “if man hadn’t loved the starts we would have never reached the moon!”  

 The “stars” metaphor had haunted his childhood. Whenever his parent fought, with each thrown dish and curse word his father would always shout “Why can’t you choose! Do you even know what love is! You don’t love me! You don’t love…anything.”

 

“I’ve known I loved you since the moment I first say you-you stuffy inconsiderate muggle!”

 

“Like the star’s Eileen or like a drug? Oxygen? Need—why can’t you want me!”

 

“I need you to live!”

 

“There’s your problem love, you need me but I don’t need you...” It had never made any since to Severus, his parents for the most part where good to each other, but anything could set his father in a wild rage. Tobias Snape when angry never got physical, if anything he got really unphysical—he’d leave, and come back two or three days later. He’d apologise to a usually frantic Eileen and a scared son hiding inside his room.

 

It wasn’t until Severus met Lily Evans that he contemplated soul mates, and it wasn’t till he went to Hogwarts that made him wish he’d never had a soul to begin with.

 

Hogwarts 1st year Sirius Black

 Sirius thought himself the luckiest boy on the planet for finding his ‘one’, his bond in a matter of minutes after boarding the Hogwarts Express. Remus Lupin was everything he’d ever wanted in a bond: smart, funny, adventuress, brave, loyal and not a Slytherin. At least he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be a Slytherin, by the way Remus shyly laughed at Sirius’s jokes about incest amongst the pure bloods. Sirius knew that he’d stand by Remus for forever and his family would just have to either live with it or throw him out (most likely the latter).

 

And then the universe threw a curve ball at him.

 Severus Snape—who-why-in-all-that is real in this world bringing such a guy into his life? A small, scrawny boy who looked like he was drowning in his own robes with such a large nose that Sirius wondered how he stood upright. But Sirius had felt it, the same pull and feeling of rightness came over him as it had with Remus. The bond whispered in his ear to come closer the dark haired stranger. He felt Remus next to him along with his new best mate James Potter. Willing himself to stay put, unlike James who was already making his way to a rather tall red head.

 

“Mate, you rubbed off some of your good luck.” James smiled his hazel eyes twinkling behind his glasses. He beelined straight to the red head, making a show of his Potter Pureblood stride. Sirius himself had practiced a stride since he was four. First impressions where very important to pure bloods of any standing, after all it would be the first thing one’s ‘one’ would see first. Sirius was even sure that Peter had a stride small as he was also Pureblood. Some Pureblood families even had a signature stride. The Malfoys never looked down and kept their backs straight with little swinging of their arms. While the Great and Noble House of Black displayed square shoulders, a straight back, a slight swing their arms and a slight tilt of the head up-not too much, for then it would look like the Lestrange’s stride. The Potters stride was a slight variation, a straight look ahead with a grin and powerful stride of both legs and arms. Sirius had been very proud of himself for striding all the way from his home to the train (his father had actually given him a proud look) and right into the compartment that had Remus in it. Remus had blushed a bright red when seeing Sirius make his way towards him (who’d a thought something his parents taught him had actual value).

 

The pretty red head that stood next to the black crow of a child looked slightly taken aback by James’s approach. Her green eyes narrowed and she clutched the little boy’s left hand in her own hands. That one act, that one union of hands had forever sealed the fate of Severus Snape and James Potter—they would never be friends. The three exchanged greeting, which then turned to back handed complement to full blown insults. By the time James looked ready to pummel the little bond-terrorist a professor with sharp eyes hoarded them to the main hall.

 After the excitement of floating candles and ghosts wore off, the sorted hat put himself and Remus, Peter, and James in the same house. When Lily Evans got called and placed into Gryffindor as well, no one cheered louder than James. And Sirius didn’t know if he was relieved or horrified that Severus Snape was put in Slytherin.

 

Hogwarts 2nd year Remus Lupin

 Remus couldn’t complain, he had mates that where reliable and loyal, good marks for classes, he belonged (in his opinion) in the best house that Hogwarts had to offer and most of all he had his mate or bonds/ones as his human counterpart called Sirius. He was a werewolf who shouldn’t even have a bucket to piss in, let alone a family that loved him and friend who accepted him. No, Remus certainly had nothing to complain about, life had given him more than enough to be happy; yet there was something missing, or more like someone.

 He had felt surprised the first time he saw Severus Snape, the short delicate boy with eyes darker than ink had stolen his heart the mere second he had seen him on the Hogwarts Express. Remus had fought against his basic nature and didn’t sit next to Severus (ah, such a sensual name) for he had been told by his father that it would be best due to his condition that if he came upon his bond that he should approach him or her with a clear plan, to gain his or her trust first, instead of just jump straight into the emotion. Remus would need to know that special someone’s back ground and beliefs first and then only when certain, with the Headmasters permission, could he reveal his condition.

 Remus had quickly, before catching the boy’s eye, darted straight out of the compartment only to witness Sirius Black strut down the aisle and steal the air out of his lungs. He had been so overwhelmed that his first word with his second one where little more than shy whispers. The next emotion had been confusion. This could only be happening to him because of the lycanthropy was his first thought, so he stifled it. The next emotion had been shame, shame for not being satisfied with what he had; shame for not only loving Sirius but loving Severus as well.

 

But Sirius had been so sure. So easy to trust and wouldn’t let any detail of Remus’s life go unknown un-documented within his stormy grey eyes. Sirius had announced their bond the minute they’d been sorted into Gryffindor and sat down to feast, declaring to the world something that both sounded right to Remus’s ears as well as gave him stomach ache.

 His first year at Hogwarts had been that of a frustrated youth, scared of having anyone find out about his lycanthropy and his wrongness. He did everything in his power to support Sirius. That way, no one would ever question his rightfulness of being Sirius’ one. He swallowed his tongue whenever his mates became Severus’bullies. Even though it made him feel like shit for not protecting his one, he felt even worse when he was happy when Severus won against James and Sirius. His unattainable one was brilliant in all aspects of school and was so smart, that even 7th year students watched him with envy. Remus found it harder with each day not to smile at Severus’s triumphs and glare wickedly at Lilly Even whenever she was around.

 By second year, Remus knew that he would always be living with half of himself.

 

3rd year Severus Snape

 He hated the world. Severus was a constant battle fighting to stay infatuated with his perfect best friend Lilly and not go running after Sirius and Remus like a lap dog. His mind had chosen Lily as the ruler of his heart but his heart had elected the two idiot golden boys instead. Why couldn’t the world understand that he just couldn’t be with them?

 What really made Severus believe that the great cosmos had  it out for him is the fact that no matter where he went, no matter what he did or who he was with Remus or Sirius or both would be there. In fact Severus was pretty sure that 1/3 of all bumping into the golden couple was due to the cosmos. The other 2/3 is due to himself.

 

Yes, Severus hated himself-He watched them—no—stalked them. Like some poor pathetic pet needy of his masters attention. But he couldn’t help it… any contact even if small or violent was better than no contact. He was relieved that Sirius and James bullied him. Even though the things they said hurt and the bruises lasted for days ,but at least for those moment he was being paid attention to.

 He knew it had to stop. It was not only giving him a bad reputation but it was also going to make people question his motives. In the wizarding world, once someone has declared a bond then it is taboo to initiate any kind of physical contact or friendship without both bond mates feeling alright with the contact. If someone imposed their presence, or initiated an unwilling bond they would be branded a pervert, a freak. Potter, of course, was excused from such labelling, as were his friends, seeing as Lily was his one and (In Potter’s opinion) was playing hard to get, giving him the right to bully Severus for having contact with his one without his consent. Potter’s friends were being good friends by helping him try to remove James’s “obstacle”. Sirius and Remus were bonded, therefore since they both seemed okay with having contact with Severus then it was excused and Peter hadn’t found his one yet so he was a free man.

 

It irked Severus to know that Lily, his sweet innocent Lily (who deserved way more than Potter) could show these same bullying traits. Although she would never outright harass someone, he’d once caught her glair at Sissy Newmen when she gave Potter a valentine.

 But this ear would be different, this year, before Halloween, Severus would be giving himself a gift; he’d finally end his one-sided bond and be free to choose his love. _SIDERA_ , he would call the potion, the reverse amortentia. He delicately scrawled the name of his creation on the vile; its star like colour gave him comfort. It had taken him the better half of his second year as well as all summer and two months to do the research, four days of precise brewing and one whole day of letting the chemicals sit. The ingredients had been a pretty penny but all good things come with a price.

 

Finally the day had come, it was Halloween and he was determined to go trick-o-treating without following Black and Lupin like a lost puppy. Lily would be upset, since she always made him dress up in something matching to her costume. Although the idea of participating in such a muggle custom had been an assignment from the Muggle Studies teacher years ago, the idea had been so popular among the students that in soon became a tradition in Hogwarts. Dumbledore, with his twinkling eyes, had the castle decorated from tower to dungeon in Halloween cheer. Food, classes, and activities throughout the day where Halloween themed. The students would go out trick-o-treating by 7pm be back by 9:30 pm to slip into their ball gowns for the Halloween dance from 10pm to 1am. And this year Halloween landed on a Saturday, by Friday everyone was talking about their dates, their ones and their costumes.

 

Taking hold the star-dust coloured potion, he downed it all in one go. Tasteless, odourless, yetas he drank it a pleasant, bubbly feeling grew in his stomach—the effects where instantaneous, he felt free, relieved, and intoxicated. Smiling he slipped into his costume and marched out into a new world, a new life ahead of him.

 

By 3rd period Severus felt arrogant, he was, in his eyes, the potion god. He had done the impossible, he’d cheated fate. He smirked at Slughorn whenever he had the chance, sneering at the simple candy cane potion the class were making.

 

By 4th period he felt giddy, his history of Magic class was going over muggle history of all hollows eve and it’s over lapping to the real wizard world.

 

By 5th period DADA felt like a joke and he hadn’t glanced over at Remus or Sirius once or thought about either of them.

 

By 6th period Severus kept his mind on all things but those two, he felt lighter, smarter, better, and free. He completely missed Sirius’s longing looks and Remus’s dopey smile, all aimed at him.

 

The last class of the day was cancelled, due to need for preparation. After all, there would be a costume contest that came with its own trophy given to the house with the best participants. Slytherin had held the cup for 3 years till last year which had been stolen from them by Hufflepuff (of all the houses to lose to!). All costumes had to be 95% handmade, they would be judged by three teachers that were not the head of house. Couple outfits gave you more points. Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black had been crowned Halloween king and queen two years ago and lost to a Hufflepuff couple last year. Lucius would not fail again; he had every house elf given to him by his family sewing since September. He and his one would be fairy king and queen, with diamond encrusted wings and glitter on their cheeks.

 

Severus headed out to the night, alone his leather bat wings cloak (courtesy of his to-much-time on her hands mother) fury mask and tight leather pants (he knew somewhere his father was choking on his cigarette) his only magic was used to charm his cut out leather ears to twitch and stand up straight. He’d earned his house two points for effort.

 He would have never guessed that this Halloween would be his worse Halloween yet. He should have taken a second look at his back the swollen purple blotches made his costume fit snugly; he should have seen his blown pupils and noted his aching joints. He had confused his good mood with being free of a one sided bond, not a chemical imbalance of his hormones. He had no idea that he was latterly teetering between life and death.

 

By 8:00 pm all he heard in warning was the sickening pop of skin tearing,  blood running down his legs and the floor coming rapidly close to his face. He screamed, his body twisted, bones crunched, tendons strained, his body convulsed. Children screamed…the world went black.


	2. of shame and stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well, he's not lying just selectively telling the truth. 
> 
>  I got a beta! Lot of props to Lyra Jones!

Lily was annoyed, a little exasperated at her best friend. Today was Halloween, one of the biggest events in Hogwarts and the two of them, like all the years before, should be in matching costumes. Her mother and Severus's mother had always sent them matching outfits (since her mother was a seamstress and Eileen had to stop work do to her husband’s explosive job, there was nothing else for a witch to do in a muggle neighbourhood) When Lily had received her package two days ago, she had marvelled at the delicate dress of Cleopatra that shimmered with sequins and satin. She had assumed that Severus would be a pharaoh or a mummy or even a sphinx...instead she saw him glide over to her in a full leather bat outfit (which looked pretty good, but she'd never say it). He had a fake nose and ears that where charmed to twitch and an adorable amount of black eye liner. "We're supposed to be matching." she declared, placing her hands on her hips.

 

"When my mother asked me if I wanted to be a mummy this Halloween, I told her I'd be a bat...didn't think she'd take me serious though...I thought she'd take the hint of me being a pharaoh." she glanced at him, he didn't look like he regretted it. To be honest, Severus looked great! Not just in his costume, but in his own skin. His skin looked smooth and not clammy, his face was relaxed, and his shoulders weren't hunched as if he was hiding from the world. Severus even had a slight turn of his mouth, indicating the faint whisper of smile, and for god’s sake was that a twinkle in his eyes!

 

"Sev, are you alright?"

 

"Never felt better" and with that he told her that he needed to go check up with the judges and see if he can get any points for his house. Lily's costume had received 1 point, which wasn't bad considering Lina Beyflower and two other students came as Cleopatra too.

 

\------------------------------ Remus Lupin--------------------------

 

 

 

If I had a coin every time Prongs put us through this, Remus thought, I’d be richer than the Malfoy’s. ‘This’ being them track down Lily Evans and trying to convince her to spend the day with them instead of Severus. The only good thing about stalking Lily is that they almost always find themselves stalking Severus as well. Severus...his hidden desire. Although he knew that he should stop the bullying, keep his one safe from the wrath of his other one. Remus knew however that if he stopped them he'd also be putting a stop just about all contact he had with the reclusive Slytherin.

 

Today however was Halloween, which was just about his favourite holiday beside Christmas. He'd always enjoyed going around looking at the creative costumes students and staff alike came up with. This year to the surprise of Sirius he had been sent a costume from his mother, carried by a very awkward 1st year Regulus. It wasn't mystery that Sirius and his parents didn't get along. With him declare Remus (a half blood) as his one and not willing to take a pureblood lover (as is custom among pureblood) to create a pureblood heir, Sirius and his parents rarely engaged in any contact that wasn't insults.

 

To see the box containing not one well-constructed knight outfit but two well-constructed knight outfits, nearly made Sirius faint. They hadn't talked about it; all Remus had to see was the way his Sirius had a hard time swallowing to know that something’s were better left unsaid. Especially when under the costumes there was a letter addressed to Sirius telling him that he would no longer be the heir but Regulus, and for now on would be considered the second child of the family and not the first. It was harsh but in a way sweet. He wasn't outright disowned, he just wouldn't be the head of the family when he was older, that would be Regulus job. Sirius also wouldn’t be given any inheritance when his parents passed.

 

"There she is!" Peter called from his right; James quickly made his way to where Peter had pointed. And indeed there she was, in one of the loveliest Cleopatra dresses he'd ever seen, and right next to her was Severus. Remus had to hide the smile at seeing Severus, who looked cute enough to eat. Was that a tiny little bat tail peeking between those massive wings?

 

"Looks like Snivelus finally embraced his inner battiness." James sneered "I think I'm going to puke if I see him dance with Lily again this year." Remus could actually agree on that end of the remark. Sirius hadn't said anything, but there was fire in his eyes, anger even. Remus hoped to all above that Sirius wouldn't pull anything to nasty this year on Severus. Last year he jinxed poor Severus into having scales all over his body-like a lizard-poor Severus even had a forked tongue for a couple a days and a really bad lisp.

 

\------------------------------------------------- Lily Evans----------------------------

 

 

 

She’d kill him...James Potter, destiny or no destiny, she'd kill him; the clingy bloke wouldn't detach himself from her. No wonder Severus didn't want to trick-o-treat with her! Every house she'd go to, James would be there waiting, his cronies could sometimes be found with him or other time they'd be gone a few houses ahead.

 

"James’s Potter, you better leave me along or I’ll jinx that alien costume permanent on you!"

 

"Come on Lil! Just one street together and I’ll leave you alone until the ball!"

 

"Just to the ball!?You've got to be kidding me!" she stormed off until the next house, she saw Severus heading the next street over, if she could cut through a couple of yards fast enough she could catch him! She started running, James hot on her heals, to be honest what pissed her off more than her elegant high-heels sinking into the soft grass was the fact that James, with his long legs and Quiditch physic, didn't even have to try to keep up with her. Exasperated she flung her hands up the air "Fine! But if I do two whole streets with you, you better let me dance with other guys beside you and that includes my best friend." her fierce green eyes blazed at James.

 

"Deal!" after all she did just acknowledge that she'd dance with him too. Stopping her plan on catching up with Severus she headed back with James to his friends, all of whom were waiting for them. Peter gave her a pitying smile, one fake gold tooth shinning in the moon light.

 

\-------------------------------- Sirius Black--------------------------------------

 

It wasn't that he was having a bad day, no way, what with the gift his parents had given him. It was that when he seen the costumes he'd had a painful reminder that there should be three knight outfits decked out in chrome and silk (he wondered what Kreacher had been thinking when making the costumes, since the colours where purple and yellow, but hey, he had nowhere to complain his younger, now older brother Regulus was a King dressed in baby pink) how fitting for the second son of the black family. He moped around all day wishing that he could be matching Severus as well. Who had for some reason come as a bat, a very sexy bat-with leather pants that hugged his legs just so. Severus to Sirius's surprise looked better than he had in weeks, the last few months he slowly looked as if he was getting sick, a few time when they'd fought he saw Severus's eye focus and unfocused. He looked thinner and seemed to forget about his hygiene all together. Today however he looked healthy, still too short for his age, even Peter had gained a couple inches on him, but healthy flushed skin and shiny hair.

 

He maintained is composure throughout the day, and only watched after Severus when no one was looking (like every day), held Remus's hand when they walked down the streets and force the thought of those leather pants out of his mind. Remus was his one, his destiny-not Severus, not him, with that hideous nose and thin lips. No, it was miracle that his parents had accepted Remus, Severus would never be accepted, and even with being a Slytherin pure bloods liked good looks as much as pure blood, Severus had neither. And no amount of eyeliner and glamour ears could fool his family.

 

\------------------------------------------------ Normal----------------------------

 

The children marched through the opened gates of Hogwarts, bags full of candy and faces twisted into mischief, there had been 25 pranks pulled by students. But it seemed to all both staff and student alike that the annual go-pretend-to-be-muggles-pretending-to-be-monsters day had gone on without a hitch. Each student scurried to put their things away in order to get ready for the ball. Most students stayed in the costume they went all day with on, but their where other that had specific accessories that where going to be worn only for the ball *cough* Malfoy.

 

The Gryffindor common room was filled to the brim with students milling about trying to fix ripped costumes, One said student was Peter Pettigrew who's mate thought it would be funny to push him into the crowed of teenage muggles, and it had been all the way up to the point that his face pirate sword was broken. The tween girls had apologies for what had happened to his costume, his mates on the other hand had ran for their lives as soon as they saw the evil glint in Peter’s eyes.

 

Fortunately, Lily Evans knew how to use glue and was helping him. James just kept on smiling like a goof next to her. Sirius was trying to convince some of the older boys to trade some muggle candy with him. Remus looked on with amusement at his one’s terrible skills in swindling. Yes, Halloween had gone on without a hitch, all the common rooms of each house looked like this and paid to mind to the scurrying house elves and staff that set about to make the ball a success.

 

Albus Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, a satisfied smile curved on his face. He didn't care how many people criticized him for celebrating such a muggle holiday, with a bag of confiscated chocolates on his lap and a cup of pumpkin juice in hand, the world’s oldest child smiled. To his amusement he noted that on the attendance sheet two students had yet to come back to the castle they were an hour late. He glanced at the names. S. Snape and X. Lovegood appeared he chuckled to himself. Could it be another bond made? But between those two a 3rd year top student and a 7th year odd ball, well, why not. He rose from his seat, his pumpkin yellow robes shimmering in by the fire light, he'd give the new couple 20 minutes to come back on school ground before he dispatched a house elf to get them with or without their costumes on.

 

"Birring ring ring" the headmaster stopped "riiing ring ring" he looked at where the sound was coming from, he of course knew it was a phone a muggle phone, the only muggle phone in the whole castle. He had it installed for the muggle born students so their parents could contact him in case of an emergency, or more likely the muggle law enforcement when catching one of his students vandalizing. It doesn't happen much, but sometime students get too randy to even spell away their mistakes and get caught by muggles. He sighed he hoped it could be something he could obliterate and not too embarrassing like indecent exposure.

 

"Halloo, Headmaster Dumbledore speaking." he heard crackling before he heard the female voice.

 

"Yes, headmaster we have here two of your students one identifies himself as a Mr....Lovegood--really kid? ---." he could hear Lovegood try to explain the origin of his last name something about moon-shadow babies.

 

"Yes, that would be one of my students, what has happened Ms..."

 

"Bradshaw, Nurse Bradshaw, Sir I’m here to report an accident, on this young male....Severus Snape, young Lovegood has expressed that he does not know the number for Mr. Snape but informed us that he went to Hogwarts boarding school and so does Mr. Snape does as well, could you please give us his emergency number as well as Mr. Lovegoods contact numbers"

 

"Is young Mr Snape alright?" the headmaster felt his pulse quicken, he hoped that it was just a small prank gone wrong, that the muggles had taken a simple hex as a life threatening condition. "May I speak to him?"

 

"I'm sorry sir, due to the nature of the accident and Mr Snape being a minor I cannot release any information regarding the patient, I need his guardian’s number please."

 

"Ah yes I understand, but first Nurse Bradshaw could you please let me speak to Mr. Lovegood, he is not a minor anymore and I believe that I can help you better if I speak to him first." there was distant murmuring before he heard the all too familiar voice of Xenophilius Lovegood, it was the quiver in the normally odd boys voice that made Dumbledore to worry. Xenophilius high strung voice sounded stressed and edgy when he greeted "Xenophilius my boy, how are you?"

 

"I am well, Headmaster."

 

"Tell me, is Severus under a hex or jinx? How did you manage to get pulled into the muggle hospital?" he expected a nervous laugh, or even an apology for some teenage prank, he had not expected a gentle snuffles of a runny nose. "Xenophilius, what has happened?"

 

"It's bad sir....I don't know what happened I just heard screaming and children started running-I...I...thought that perhaps it was a prank, I went closer to see but when I saw him...sir he's-he's really hurt, his whole body was just twisting and turning and...And...I....tried to make him stop....but it was too late, the muggles called their cabby and I didn't want to leave him alone...he was all alone! Sir I'm sorry I should have apparated-"

 

"Now now, I am sure that you did the best to your abilities in such a situation. Liston to me very closely Xenophilius....although I would never support this in any situation I need to you obliviate Nurse Bradshaw and get yourself and Severus outside of the hospital...I will come get you both."

 

"No sir, I can't do that."

 

"And why not, you are a bright boy, and this is for both Severus safety as well as the muggles." Dumbledore was use to coaxing students to do things that they would often find themself thinking that they did not have the ability do so. "You-"

 

"He's in surgery sir...they wheeled him away before I could do anything." Standing suddenly from his chair, Dumbledore quickly summoned the contact information of Severus's parents as well as summoned Poppy.

 

"I understand. Sit tight young man, we'll be coming to get you both shortly."

 

"Yes, headmaster." Dumbledore hung up, he needed to leave as well as make sure no student got wind of what has happened, the ball had just started after all-he couldn’t  afford having students panicking.

 

In all of Dumbledore years, he had never felt so nervous for one of his students as he did now...surgery...on a wizard, he could only image the horror of whatever jinx had befallen poor Severus to cause such a stir amongst the muggles, he hoped to all that was above that the boy would be alright.

 

\---------------------------- Severus Snape-----------------------------------

 

When he woke up, feeling worn hands grasping his left hand, looking over he was met with the worn features of his father's face, Tobias Snape’s eyebrows where drawn close together, a deep wrinkle creased between his eyebrows, there was his mother’s voice echoing from the other side of the white washed opened door, she was screeching about something. Severus hadn't heard that tone of voice since he was 8 and come home with a broken nose due to football practice. Eileen Snape’s voice had an edge that could slice through steel and a temper to match it; he pitied the poor soul that was at the wrong end of her words.

 

"Pa-a?" his voice croaked out, his father’s head snapped up

 

"Severus!"

 

"Mmhn...What happened?"

 

"Something I'd like to know-there's no logic in this world..." his father’s well-worn voice rasped "Gave us quite a scare their chap...Your poor mum is really tearing one on, on those poor witch nurses." smiling weakly at his father ignorance

 

"Medi-witch da, that's what witch nurses are called."

 

"I'm sure that’s true, son." Before they could share any more words, Mrs. Snape marched in.

 

"And I’ll be talking to the head doctor you incompetent wench; I'll have your license! The nerve of that illiterate self-absorbed mongrel!"

 

 

 

"Dear, I think they got the point."

 

"Don’t tell me-Severus! How long have you been up?" Her eyes whipped toward his father in accusations and then back to him and suddenly she was striding right back from where she came from yelling for the nurses "You call this intensive care!"

 

"Well, I best get out of the way for the w-medi-witch and your mother of course...I'm glad you're up." Tobias, never the affectionate man, place a large hand on Severus's head ruffling lightly the dark strands of his hair. No word needed to be said.

 

The next few hours where like a train wreck, Severus's mother showing how much she did not approve of St Mungos care. He did get some question answered though. Apparently after his "attack" (which Severus was in no hurry to explain what that was about and figured if no one asked then he wasn't technically lying) he'd been sent to a muggle hospital with strange Lovegood and then taken into surgery, or what his mother called "the butchering" Dumbledore had made an emergency request of the ministry to make the legal documentation of St. Mungos hospital appear in the muggle documents, then he had alerted his parents, a few obliviate spells and one helicopter ride later Severus was as the merciful care of St. Mungos staff, who had to 'un-surgeries' him (removing pins from his back and shoulders) to then proceed  on to healing him. Apparently he'd been out for two days.

 

His mother was sure that some "young little terrorist is out there planning another attach" it was no secret that Severus got bullied. His father, never a man to shirk from anything, seemed uncomfortable around so many wizards. A few more hours passed before sleep took over, with promises from the nurses that he'd be release tomorrow.

 

\--------------------------------------------------- Lily----------------------------------------------------------------

 

She had known something was wrong when Severus hadn't met her at the castle entrance like he normally would. She knew something was definitely wrong when he didn't show up to the ball. Her friend, though socially awkward, would never miss out at the chance to sneer at people in such a social setting. But she'd been distracted between proving a point to the wizard world and dancing with non-bonded kids and proving to James Potter that he was not her keeper...even if she did dance with him once. It wasn't till late that night when the students headed to their common rooms that she cornered the marauders.

 

"That’s it, what did you guys do?" she glared at Sirius Back "What did you do?!?" the eldest Black had a confused look on his face

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"With Severus! What did you guys do lock him in a closet or something? I'm not going to let you guys get away with keeping him from trading muggle chocolates with me!" also a Hogwarts Halloween tradition, Severus's favorite part.

 

"we didn't do anything-right prongs."

 

"He's right Lil, none of us did anything to Snape." she looked at Remus whom also shook his head and then she looked at Peter, the ever present weak-link.

 

"He's right!" he squeaked. Biting her lip she informed them that she would not be going the Gryffindor Common room but would go out to get Severus at his.

 

"Well, you better not be lying to me." She said and swiftly left.

 

An hour later she came back, slid out of her costume and headed to the showers all the while wondering what had happened, she heard from a first year Slytherin that she saw him trick-o-treating way into the muggle neighbourhoods, others snickered as said him and Lovegood had both gone deep into the muggle neighbourhoods. Some part of her hoped that remark was true; it was about time Severus found his one.

 

\----------------------------------------------- Remus-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

If there was ever a time Remus Lupin wanted to throw up, it would be the morning after Halloween. Between the muggle candy consumed and the butter beer drank that night, he wondered why he even bothered waking up. But seeing how out of it Sirius was and James throwing up in the bathroom he figured it could have been worse. Peter was his only companion while they made their way down to breakfast.

 

"Moony, next time I try to eat that much candy just knock me ok...I don't think my body with forgive me a second time." Peter moaned "Forget it Moony, I'm not eating-I-" but before Peter could argue his case, they noticed something unusual for a Saturday morning...the breakfast hall was full to the brim, mostly with Ravenclaws and Slytherins chatting with each other. Never one to turn down good gossip Peter quickly moved to asked Sally Slughorn what the new gossip was, Remus barely interested as he eyed the sausage links. "So who snogged last night?" was his opening line.

 

"Snogged? You mean you haven't heard?" her blond eye brows rose to her hair line.

 

"Heard what? Tell me."

 

"Apparently Snape got attacked last night." Now Remus really wanted to throw up, he stepped around Peter.

 

"What! When! Who!?!" She backed away from him; Remus could be quite an intimidating figure when he wasn't focused in making himself look unintimidating.

 

"Aah..we don't know, all we know was that last night him and that freak Lovegood didn't come back, and then Lovegood came back early this morning covered in blood and was crying...I was told Snape is in St. Mungos!" she quickly left. Forgetting about his breakfast or Sirius waiting for him for a glass of water Remus navigated through the tables caring little about house boundaries to ask questions. Lovegood couldn't be found and neither could Severus he didn't notice when Peter had left to go tell James and Sirius. He didn't even notice when Sirius had ran to him dressed in his pink elephant pyjamas, enveloping him in a hug. Such a tight hug that Remus, although hugging him back with the same amount ferociousness, couldn't help but wonder what was going on, and why would his one seem almost as distressed as he did.

 

\-------------------------------------- Sirius---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Comfort. That's what Sirius needed and it's what he got from Remus. He couldn't control himself the overwhelming emotion of helplessness made him hold on to the only thing that could dull the ache. Some sick part of him even hoped that Remus could relate that his hug was for his ones.

When Peter had stumbled into the dorm reporting the news to Prongs, uncontrollable panic of knowing that his other one was hurt had made Sirius leap out of bed and hit the floor running.  He couldn’t believe that while some punk with a wicked curse had nearly killed his love and he was too busy dancing to have noticed.

 That of all the days he decided not to follow Severus around would be the day Severus needed protection. Needed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please REPLY!  
> since in this universe there are bonds and ones and what not, i figured the whole "Pureblood Elite" wouldn't be too bad but still there. don't worry Mama Black is going to show her true colors in further chapters, i know that the Blacks aren't forgiving people.


	3. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus love each other.

\----------------------- Severus--------------------------------------------

 

He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that everyone thought that he’d come back with a mild limp either getting the pitying looks from his school mates or the fact that people believed that he and Lovegood had been having an ‘early Halloween candy’ *shudder* and had been pranked, resulting in the 7th year heroically carrying Severus to the muggle hospital bridal style screaming “why god why!” all the while Severus supposedly bled into his arms.

Severus would never again be able to look at the 7th year without cringing or anyone for that matter.

 With each passing hour the roomer became more and more exaggerated and tasteless.  

 

What was even worse was that Lily had not only gotten wind of every rumour but thought it was her duty to inform him about them. He sat red faced while Lily, with her beautiful full lips stretched into a smile as she swooned with each detail, putting her left hand to her forehead in a mock imitation of Lovegood’s voice.

 

“Don’t leave me now Severus my darling” She rasped, her voice deepening. “Not now, when I’ve finally found you!” Severus wasn’t quite sure if the cloak she was holding was a prop to represent him or if it was just for dramatic effect. She leaned in and kissed the hood-guess that answered the question.

 

“Lily, I’ve already informed you that none of what the rumours or _you_ have come up with did not and will not ever happen.”  He deadpanned, his eyes narrowing down to his signature scowl.

 

“Oh come on Sev! Something had to have happened between you two!” she giggled, Severus snarled.

 

“I heard when you found out that I nearly died, you ran straight into Potter’s arms.” He sneered the next words out “So that’s it, I’m gone for one night and you’re already in someone else’s arms.”  Lily paled

 

“Tha-that’s not-“

 

“Or where you already with Potter when I bled out in Lovegoods arms?”

 

“Now you’re just being a cad!” the two friends set into a squabble, which was fine with Severus because an angry Lily was easier to manipulate than a happy Lily.

 

In truth, Severus was frustrated; his cure had nearly killed him. Months of research and study fruitless, all his efforts gone to waste. All his notes, pages and pages read on bonds and dark arts became more or less a waste of his precious time. Severus understood that he’d have to approach the bond differently, perhaps magic wasn’t enough. Perhaps his father had been right-science could cure anything.  

 

3rd year ended with Severus ducking behind statues and book shelves when Remus popped out of nowhere, writing sappy poems and contemplating suicide whenever he looked into the stormy eyes of Sirius Black. 

 

The summer before 4th year set the tone for what all the summer after it would be like. _Muggle_ school, _muggle_ sports, _muggle_ friends. Severus’s father had finally put his foot down, since the accident that nearly killed his only son, he’d enrolled Severus in summer school. He had explained that the magic world was not only dangerous but couldn’t even find pranksters on a Halloween night.

 

Tobias had decided that if Severus had other choices besides magic than he wouldn’t have to put up with the injustice of the wizard world. For 9 hours of the day, Monday till Friday, from 7:00 am till 4:00pm Severus was in intense scholarly work. Math (which he hadn’t done since he went into Hogwarts), Literature, physics, chemistry, art, and music all crammed into his head, his father quizzing him each night on all topics. In the morning he’d wake at 5:30 am to run and train for boxing (although he never saw what his father loved so much in the sport, it was painful.) On the weekends he showed what he’d learned in the boxing ring-a sad sight, seeing that he’d grown an embarrassing amount of inches since last summer and could barely coordinate himself well enough to walk without tripping. He had been forced to make friends with the children of his father’s colleges as well as the other neighbourhood children.

 

In retaliation his mother had acquired for him new potion books, DADA books and a pet toad, in which she would then pointedly ask him question about them during dinner.

 

Lily moved away and Severus rarely saw her. He spent the little free time he had in working with his cure-the muggle’s had come up with some interesting concepts – shock therapy. He wondered how he could make his potions work in such a matter. The idea had been somewhat abandoned in the 60’s but it had some validity…it couldn’t hurt to try.

 

When it was time to go back to Hogwarts, Severus had wondered if his brain had enough room for more information. His father had given him three books to read while he was away- The Geologic History of Earth, The Rise and Fall of the British Empire, and a poetry book by Edgar Allen Poe; Severus had a good feeling that these would be the 1st of many books sent to him by his father.

 

4th year Sirius Black

 

Finally summer was over, it had been way to long and painful to be cooped up in his family manor, the only highlight of the summer had been when Remus came to visit. He could still remember the bubbling nervous feeling he had felt on that hot summer day when his one would finally meet his parents and the entire Black family.

 

Remus had handle it well though, far better than when he went to meet Remus’ family. Remus was polite, sweet, good looking and with the help of both Sirius and his cousin Andromeda they were able to deflect and counter reply to back handed complements. 

 

Remus had done a fairly good impression on his family, as good as any impression by a half-blood could. Sirius still worried about the werewolf problem, but he figured if he could get his families blessing for their marriage the secret could come out when Remus is already Mr. Remus Lupin-Black. Not even his family could over-ride a wizard marriage contract. And the ministry would be forced to give Remus all the rights of being a spouse of a witch/wizard including healthcare, housing and inheritance. Werewolf or no werewolf, no one could override a bond.

 

There was also one major reason he was glad to be out of the house, more then finally being away from Kreacher mothering him (since the role reversal of himself and Regulus, Regulus stayed in lesson on how to be a proper heir and Sirius got followed around by Kreacher who wouldn’t even let Sirius sneeze without having a hanky already wiping his nose. Something that Remus thought hilarious) the fact that once again he’d be able to come in contact with the ugly little creature that attached himself to Sirius’s heart-Snivilous.

 

He had received letters from Prongs, informing him that Lily had moved and was finally able to breath without the toxic fumes of Snape to polluting her lungs.  Sirius was just happy that Evans wouldn’t get more contact with Severus than he did.

 

Sirius had always somewhat hated Lily for being Severus’ friend and possible crush.  The first few Halloweens that they showed up in matching outfits had enraged Sirius so much that he’d attempted to hex her only to miss and hit Severus instead.

 

This year, however he was going to make it his personal goal to cut any and all connection in between Lily Evans and Severus Snape. He was sure that James would jump on the plan meaning that Peter would too.  All he had to do was wait.

 

Meeting his mates in the familiar booths of the Hogwarts Express, one arm swung around Remus while Peter tried to break the world record of how many chocolate frogs a person could hold in his mouth, Sirius relaxed. Prongs would arrive at any moment.

 

As if on cue the tall messy haired brunet slid the door of the compartment wide open, a huge smile on his face.

 

“Hey mates! Been a while.” The last remark was aimed at Sirius and Remus since Peter was more or less always over at the Potters. Sirius would have to look into that seeing that whenever it was mentioned his smallest friend would get nervous. James would then show up and deflect the question.  “So, what have you two blokes been up to?”

 

The door slid open again, the four directed their eyes to the new intruder, no surprise it was Lily. She put a hand up to prevent James from getting up. “No, I’m not sitting here. I just wanted to ask if any of you guys have seen Severus.” James pouted while Peter choked on his frogs, causing Sirius to slap his back, amused at how even while nearly suffocating Peter was still attempting to shovel in one more frog. Remus spoke up.

 

“Sorry Lily, we haven’t. Perhaps you should check the Slytherin compartments.”

 

“I already have.”

 

“So he’s not here! Sit with me instead Lils!” Prongs jumped to grab her around the waist, when a long, robe clad arm swept her from his range. “Who the-“

 

“I’m right here Lily.” The deep silken voice said, the inside if Sirius’s belly heated up. And there he was, half of Sirius’s desire stood proudly behind the feisty red head. Severus had changed. No longer was he the small dark spot next to Lily. Rather he was probably the same height as himself and James. His hair grown out to his shoulders, very wide shoulders. His face while still rounded had attained sharper edges on the brow and cheeks. Dark eyes swallowed the light around him and once pale skin now had an otherworldly glow, like that of a cadaver. His height had only made him look slimmer, his nose although still oversized looked more fitting on his dire face. Reminding Sirius of the _medico della peste_ , the Italian plague doctors with their bird like masks, beautiful, but reminders of an ever looming death.  He wasn’t the only one that noticed the change, Lily nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw him.

 

“Dear god! Who are you?!”

 

Severus didn’t respond.

 

“You weren’t kidding when you told me your Father was putting you through the mill!”  Her voice shooting into a painful range. “Where’s my Sevy? You’re huge!” and scary, was the unsaid part.

 

 

 

“Hardly Lilian. I’ll be sitting in another compartment, come join me if you please.” Severus turned briskly on his heals the effects of his swift retreat made his cloak bellow behind him. He looked like the very personification of a Dark prince from the underworld. Lily rushed after him, James calling out to her.

 

Sirius bit his lip in order stop himself from running after Severus.

 

\------------------------------------- Remus Lupin----------------------------------

 

He wouldn’t stop staring at Severus, he’d changed a lot. He reminded Remus of the sappy vampire romance novels that his mother read. Severus had a romantic look. He had gained confidence in his stride as well as better high gene, the shine of his locks was not due to grease or chemicals; Remus’ nose could only pick up the smell of shampoo and soap.

 

He had watched him stride out of the train, Lily next to him struggling to keep up with his pace as they hurriedly whispered things to each other. And he’d become jealous, Remus watched all of Severus’s interactions with Lily Evans, keeping a close eye her; But most important he was always watching Severus.  

 

Watching him while he ate, very little of anything. He’d worry.

 

Watching him through the opening ceremony. He’d wonder.

 

Watching him four weeks later through classes, hallways and breaks. He’d daydream.

 

Watching him throughout Halloween in his Frankenstein outfit, he watch him especially close on Halloween, the fear of last year being repeated made him not only openly follow Severus but ignore the fact that Sirius was openly following Severus as well. He’d smile.

 

Remus purposely made sure to get into advance Potions for 4th year and become a library aid.  The two places that Severus would always be in. He thought of Severus a lot. But mostly Sirius, a lot of his thoughts where on Sirius, how their relationship had evolved into the next level.

 

Becoming close and officially mating in both human and werewolf form.

 

This year had become an exploration of hormones and boundaries between himself and Sirius.

Blushing at the memory of their sexual encounters he could never remember their closeness without floundering on his feet.

It was a month before school, when Sirius showed up at his door steps, they had exchanged letters throughout the summer and Remus informed Sirius that he would be alone for that day. He was not surprised to see his one smiling at him that evening. Remus had expected a good snog and a board game. But hormones had set in that summer and made themselves know to their bodies.

Their kissing had turned into desperate licking of each other’s mouths, Sirius had always had a clever tongue it was nothing knew, yet when Sirius traced his lips with his own, hot slippery tongue massaged the muscle within his mouth. Moaning the were wolf leaned closer into his one, his strong arms pulling the pureblood wizard closer to his body, chest against chest hips meeting hips.

Sirius’s hands traced his back, and then slid down to cup the firm bottom clad in trouser. The sounds that Remus himself made weren’t out of the ordinary he’d always been vocal with his pleasure. What escalated the encounter had been the sound that Sirius made when the hard bulged in the werewolf’s pants rubbed against his.

That one sound, had set the primal urges within Remus, moony demanded a closer contact with his mate. With no warning Remus tore the shirt from off of Sirius’s back. “Remy!” but Remus didn’t stop, removing himself from Sirius he finished ripping the shirt from the front of his one. Gasping Sirius wasted no time opening his pants zipper in one swift movement he removed his pants and underpants his manhood springing out.

Remus looked into the dark grey eyes of his love. He could see all his emotions, fear, want, need, nervousness, lust, love and most important trust.

“Only if you’re ready Remy…” the noble’s voice rasped with need “all that you want, I’ll do all that you want, always for you Remy…” He dropped to his knees.

“Siriey” Remus barely whispered, his body palpitated with the force of his heart; the young lover’s eyes never separated from each other, Sirius leaned in naked pushing his face forward and kissing Remus’s belly, mouthing the shirt up, he bit the hem of Remus’s white t-shirt, lifting it to reveal the dirty blonds scarred skin underneath.

Sliding his hands under the fabric, he kissed Remus’s belly button. He realized that’s there was a permission that needed to give, touched that Sirius would wait for permission, naked and wonting on his knees. Remus nodded.

Kissing up, Sirius stopped at the pink bud of Remus’s nipples, sucking. “What’s that mean Remy?”

Groaning, exasperated that even in moments like this Sirius could play with him. “What I want is for you to…”

“To?”

“Do whatever you want…”

“I want?” he slurred while nibbling on the other nipple

“Is what I want.”

“Well, if you insist.” Sirius finished in pulling his shirt over him, firm quidetch hands slid down his pants, callused fingers wrapped around his shaft.  Moaning Remus’s fingers raked over Sirius’s broad chest. “Don’t be shy Remy, never with me.” They locked eyes and Remus knew, he just knew that him and Sirius would always be together, never would they doubt each other, never would he stop loving him. “Don’t hold back”

What fallowed after was a frenzy of hip thrust and lip locking. Somehow his pants got off as well as his socks, he found himself spread out on top if his bed. Glad for the fact that his parents were out on a date. No one, besides his one(s) should ever hear the sound that Remus was making.  Draping himself over Remus, Sirius’s husky voice whispered against his lips.

"Tell me how you want it, moony."

At this point Remus truly lost himself in the sensations–the weight of his one’s body on top of his own alternated between comforting and smothering. The teasing words Sirius was so fond of didn't help ease Remus’s tension.

He bit down hard on Sirius’s lower lip. "Don't call me that."

"Ow."

Sirius sounded anything but bothered, however, and Remus wondered if he should have bitten hard enough to draw blood.

"But it turns you on,  _Moony_ ," he teased, then licked lightly inside Remus’s ear. "Don't try to deny it."

Yes. Blood. Lots of blood.

“We’ve been through this-What ever you-“ silence with a kiss and one finger moving into his most private area.

“oh yes, how silly of me!” two fingers pushed inside. They were slick, Sirius must have lubed them up without Remus noticing. The two fingers started scissoring stretching him open. “Oh merlin Remus, you’re so tight.” Remus just gasped more in tune with the fact that Sirius’s other hand was wrapped around his aching cock. Slowly stroking up and down, the blunt nail of his left thumb traced sinfully from his pubes to his slit.

Sirius kissed up his jaw and nuzzled into his ear. “I’m going to make us one Remy.” A third finger pushed in, this time Remus shoved forward around his ones fingers. “Just relax”

And he did. For Sirius he’d do anything.

After a while his cock started to leak pre-cum, “Siry I’m…”

“Yeah...” Sirius’s voice rasped deeply. He pulled the fingers out, Remus shuddered at the emptiness. Sirius loomed over him, for the second time that night Remus took a good look at Sirius’s body. Tall, lean and muscular a body built for power and speed. Tan skin shimmered with sweat, a dusk of dark hair trailed down to a beautiful penis, a pair of heavy balls hung freely between muscular legs. Remus watched as Sirius’s spread lube on his manhood. “You ready?” placing the head of his cock to Remus’s entrance.

“yes” and he was

Sirius sunk in slowly, moaning all the way to the hilt. “I love you!” the ex-Black heir declared, sure as the day they first met. “I love you” he repeated. His thrust were soft at first, experimental. When the small bundle of nerves where struck, causing Remus to scream was the Q for the thrust to speed up.

“There! Oh merlin there! Sirius!” the steady pounding on his prostate made Remus want to cry. Five humps later and it was over, Remus was filled with Sirius’s seed and his eyes struggled to roll back in place. It was hot it was sloppy it was their first time. They both laid next to each other the wave of their post orgasm keeping them still.  “I love you too Sirius” he mumbled before passing out.

Sirius’s face held a smile “Me too…” and he slipped into sleep. 

They both almost died of embarrassment, when Remus’s mom strolled into Remus’s room to ask Remus when he planned to introduce young Mr. Black to the family, seeing as they’d slept till twelve the next day and was rude to hole themselves up in his room. Sirius tried to hide his private parts and Remus just spazzed out

“What, you didn’t think we’d check on you when we got home? Really Remus, there’s nothing to be embarrassed for, other than not coming out to have breakfast with us.” She gathered the clothing from the ground, the very clothing that they tore off each other. “I’ll put these to wash, you two get dressed…your father is waiting.” She strolled out, closing the door firmly.

Sirius ground, “I have made the worse impression ever.” He covered his face with his hands. Remus tried his best to console him. 

The days that fallowed where filled with love and understanding, as well as constant apologies by a stuttering Sirius to John Lupin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best in this sex, seen but remember that they are teens and no-one and i mean no-one is ever wonderful in their first attempt of sex, and the fact that they are both virgins would mean that they wouldn't last enough to try anything kinky. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I promise to post the next Chapter soon.  
> oh by the way anything not English or worlds from the Harry Potter world (my made up spells and potion names) are just Latin words I snatched from Google.


	4. best lies

Severus Snape 5th year

 

Severus Snape 5th year

                He had made a miraculous discovery of a shock charm. It wasn’t the same intensity of shock therapy the charm only sent a slight buzz threw his body whenever his mind was starting to wonder in the direction of a bonded pair he was not meant to covet. And by a light buzz he meant about 5 bolts of electricity rip through his veins. The combination of a shock charm, advanced classes and extreme physical training (pushups and frequent running) kept most of his mind off of Sirius and Remus. The only side effect was an aching stomach and crippling migraines that may or may not affect his sleeping habits.  He made sure for research purposes to document all his symptoms along with his research.

                He still worked on his potion, determine to figure something out, he’d only realized his errors during 4th year, but with the help of science (who would of thought that junk his father had pushed into his head yet another summer actually would be of use). He had realized that monk’s hood was the cause of his explosive symptom, and the sulfur was eventually going to lead to organ failure, and sugar made it taste better but reacted as a hallucinogen when mixed with troll nail. Yes he needed to reevaluate, poring his spare time in knowing chemistry and potions he was sure by the end of next summer he’d have his second batch to try out.

                February had marched in, along with St. Valentines Day. He’d had to endure the slop people called love for weeks before and when the dreadful day finally came, Severus had gotten the flue-according to his dorm mates he hadn’t woken up for breakfast that day, and when they’d come back 5 hours later with the sound of his labored breathing as the only sound in the room, they called Madam Pompfrey.

Whom then gave him such a row about proper nutrition, that Severus could recite the food pyramid by the end of it.  It hadn’t helped that she’d known about his punishing runs and lack of sleep…how had she found out? He’d ask Lily.

The bright point of being sick was missing out on V-Day, no sugary pink disserts to nibble through this year! Finally one of his side-effects became beneficial.

 

\------------------------------------------------ Sirius 5th year-----------------------------------------------------

It really wasn’t fair. He had everything anybody could ever ask for—money, looks, friends, family (somewhat), and a soul mate. Mates. Shit! Severus, Severus, Severus! He was like a fungus. Growing deep within Sirius’s mind. Eating the dead flesh of his heart.

It wasn’t fair, Remus and he had finally breached another level of their love.

They’d made love and it had been more than wonderful it had been right.

He’d stared into the eyes of his lover and seen the reflection of his own soul.

And yes it was short and sloppy but he was sure with time and practice they’d become smoother and better. They had their whole lives to figure it out anyways.

He on the other hand, had great plans for tonight-Romantic plans. All which did not include Snivellous in it. Sniveling Severus—why had he been crying that day at the train? Had someone said something? Had something happened? He hoped it wasn’t—blah! Forget him, today would be all about Remus and himself. 

\--------------------------------------------------------- Remus 5th year-----------------------------------------------------------------

He hadn’t thought he could stoop lower. But come one, he just wanted one day, one day that he could devote to Sirius and only Sirius. No Severus with his silken voice casting a spell on his mind. No, today would be about them. Sirius and Remus.

So he did something terrible to his one. He abused his trusted position as library aid-casted a spell on _Egyption history of dark spells volume III_ knowing that Severus would come for it, since he already turned in volume II yesterday, meaning he would come get volume III the spell would take 5 hours to be affective. Yes, Remus put a simple flue bug jinks on the book—he gave his one an illness! There was a special floor in hell of him. But it was for the greater good.

He knew that Severus wasn’t eating, he’d watched him all year, just like his werewolf senses could smell fatigue and see the dark shadows under his eyes covered by some glamor spell. Severus was a state of physical weakness a small virus would latch on to him ferociously suck the strength out of him and keep him down for a few days. A few days that Remus needed without him, to dedicate to Sirius. Whom deserved all of his attention. Not Severus and his bighting words, cruel remarks and deadly glares.

To be honest, Remus was hurt that no matter what advances he tried to make on Severus to become friends the lanky teen would rebuff him or plain out tell him to get lost. Whenever Severus looked at him it seemed like all the hate in the world was smothered within the eyes of Severus Snape aimed straight at the werewolf.

He’d apologiesed for his friend’s behavior and his lack of action and Severus would glair and act as if the very presence of Remus sickened him.

It hurt not only Remus but moony as well. Severus deserved to get sick on the most Romantic day of the year.

\-------------------------------------------------Sirius---------------------------------------------

The ugly greasy git, hadn’t turned up for classes today. Not that he’d pay more than a few seconds of his day worried for him, no today was Remus’s and his day.

Sirius held Remus’s hand when they entered the grand hall for dinner, his thumb rubbing circles on the scarred knuckles of his lover.

It was going to be a full moon tomorrow meaning that Remus would be especially receptive to any stimuli good or bad.  Sirius wanted Remus to carry today’s good memories into the transformation. Hold on to the sweetness of the holiday to ease the pain of the transformation.

“Hey Remy?”

“Yes, Sirius?” the gold in the werewolves eyes far more prominent today than normal days, the wolfish edge giving Sirius shivers.

“I’ve got something for you to see tonight.” He said while pulling Remus to the direction of their friends. James who was trying to entice Lily with Valentines card and lilies. Lily although wore a look of unimpressed had curled her hair and worn makeup along with ear rings that James had gifted her for Christmas. Not to mention that her eyes had a curtain twinkle in it.

“Oh do you?” Remus glanced at him, before picking up a roll from the table. Fully turning his head to look at Sirius, he slowly bit into his roll. Pink lips sealing shut a thin shine of butter from the roll glincening on the bottom lip.  Remus’s pupils dilated hunger and want showing on them. Sirius felt heat pull at the bottom of his stomach. While he watched Remus chew slowly.

“Yeah.” He stepped closer into Remus’s personal space. Their hips meeting, he leaned into a place a small peck on Remus’s butter coated lips, right before slowly liking off the butter with his tongue of his own lips.

“NO! NOT WHILE I’M EATING!” the sound of Peter’s high voice broke the trance. The two teens looked over to their small friend   
“Sorry worm-tail, we’ll keep it rated G for your eyes.” The shorter teen blushed mumbling something about him being able to handle mature thing too.

Dinner went on, with Remus feeding Sirius chocolate covered strawberries and cutting Sirius’s food for him, Sirius all too enthusiastic to return the favor. Sadly all advances of such nature done by James where rebuffed by Lily.

Later on that night, being that it was a Saturday, Sirius convinced Remus to sneak out with him.  Into the back gardens of Hogwarts. Sirius had actually found use for Kreachers talents a candle lit midnight picnic was waiting for them in one corner of the garden.

“Sirius…for me?”

“Of course.” That night they held each other while they munched on the delicious food made by the black house elf. They laughed at the heart shaped cookies, pies, sandwich that the queer little creature made.

After sometime and well placed kisses Remus’s head rested snuggly on Sirius chest. Although Sirius was shorter then him and weaker due to Remus’s lycanthropy, Remus enjoyed listening to the even heart beat under a strong chest. They gazed at the sky pointing out the constellations and talking about the future.

“I’m always going to be here for you Remy, always.” Sirius whispered into the night, combing his fingers through sandy hair. “I can’t live without you.” He planted kisses on top of the taller teens head.

“And I love you Sirius till all the stars burn out from the sky.” A silence feel between them, before they both burst into laughs

“Merlin that was cheesy!” Sirius clutched his gut while he rolled around on the sheet, causing Remus to fall of him, not that the wolf minded seeing as he laughed until tears came out. “the stars huh!”

“Shut up Siry! I’m trying here!” Remus howled before braking into another laugh “look who talking-Can’t live without me! Like I’ve never heard that before! What movie did you pick that one from?”

“oh you think it’s funny!” Sirius tackled Remus they wrestled and squirmed in each other’s arms.

\--------------------------------------------- Severus Snape------------------------------------------

There was something moving down his chest. His post-fever fogged mind had for a moment believed it to be a very large droplet of sweat. His sealed eyes reminded him that it was Sunday morning and there was no need to wake up so soon.  That something possibly the largest sweat droplet known to man was halfway past his rib cage. He tried to shift more droplet where felt on his skin. Then a sensational amount of droplet moved over and around his stomach. The till attached to reality part of his mind, pointed out that these droplets was not water drops no-instead they felt like the tips of fingers lightly grazing his flesh.  Yes fingers, he could now feel the blunt nails of each cool finger brush over his naval.

Opening his left eye slowly, annoyed by the crust that held his eyes together “Wa-?” finally getting some adjustment he caught sight of his half naked body, _well that’s strange_ he thought and then he saw the hand, familiar boyish hand, making its way to his private parts!

His fight or flight instincts kicked in, in one swift movement he rolled of the bed, his left hand snaking out and gripping ‘hard’ on the intruders hand. There was a yelp from the intruder, as he was violently dragged from one side of the bed to another. Severus’s using all the strength his body could muster slammed the offender against the back wall, rattling the sturdy shelves.

“I-I’m sorry!” squealed the little voice that could only belong to Regulus Black “I didn’t want to!” His slight body shook with fear.

“What the fuck were you trying to do?!”

“I-I”

“you-you-you what, does ineptitude and savagery run in the family or are you aiming to surpass the Neanderthal you call a brother?” the venom in Severus’s tone could kill snakes at that moment “You better explain yourself Black or I’ll rip that face you’re so proud of, off. Your. skull.” the younger wizard’s knees gave out and it was the rage full strength that Severus possessed that kept him up from the ground. 

“it’s initiation!” Severus snarled slamming Regulus one more time, the boy let out another yell, tears ran down his face “I just wanted to fit in! Bellatrix said-“

“Wrong answer Black, to think I thought you were better than animals that run around this place.” Severus started dragging Regulus to the bathroom, taking a faint note that none of his dorm mates where present. _so they were in it too._ The young teen flailed clutching at Severus’s robes trying desperately to yank himself away from the shirtless teen.

“Don’t please! I’ll drown!”  The younger teen looked at the loo with trepidation, horror that he was about to suffer from a muggle torture practice. “hit me like a wizard you half-mud!” Severus snarled. Since Luciose left taking with him the little protection the Severus had ever had from the pure-blood enthusiast of his house, the flame of prejudice had rekindled lead by a sadistic leadership of Bellatrix Black. “You really are more mud-blood then wizard! Let me go!”

Now Severus knew that this wasn’t really the shy bookworm he’d come to know, he knew that the words coming out of Regulus was no more truthful then Lily claiming to be in depended from James. The terrified youth was falling back to his heritage due to lack of not having anything else to protect himself with. His wand had flown from his hand when Severus had ruthlessly flung him over to the wall. Severus also knew that Regulus like most of the younger years were scared shit-less of Bellatrix. No one would say no to her or her knew club rules.

This wouldn’t be the first pure-blood teen set with the task of hurting, maiming or humiliating Severus Snape. To be honest Severus could bet that the only other none-pure-blood in Slytherine, Bernies McKlain a bud-blood was most likely going through her own version of hell right now, he thought with rage, in any other situation Regulus and him would be fine, even friend but not today. He couldn’t let his young friend get away with this, even if the two had come up with some sort of agreement.

So Regulus didn’t disappoint his family Severus would let the younger teen nock his books over, call him names and laugh at the torment other would dish out. In return for his cooperation Regulus paid for some of the more expensive potion materials.

But not once had Regulus actually tried to do something so degrading to not just Severus but himself.

“What the fuck where you going to do? Blow me?” the 2cd year blushed “you know that’s not a punishment, right?” he continued to pull the teen into the bowl, Regulus’s hands gripping the toilet mouth,

“I-don’t…Know!” he screamed in indignation “don’t do this Sev, they’ll only get rougher with you!” Severus didn’t care, with one last flex of his arms he plunged the teen’s face into the murky water of the toilet.

1-2-3 seconds later he released the boys head, the horrified gasps that came from Regulus was comical.

“you-you actually-“ the new Black heir threw up. Not that Severus minded seeing as he was currently sprinting out of the mail dormitory with his wand in one hand. Months of physical training paying off (he really needed to thank his father for all these lessons). He didn't pay attention to the screaming girls when he’d pushed his way through the crowed.  He’d never come to Bernies’s aid before, he was raised to believe that women and men should solve their own school house problems, the less entanglement between the two sexes the better.

Yet something about today being today, irked Severus enough to pull at his protective instincts. He thought of Bernies with no friends and a constant target for the house of Slytherine. He pictured her with her worn out shoes and faded cloaks and could painfully remember the days he’d seen her work during the summer in their towns grocery shop, pinching penny’s to buy the expensive school supplies that Hogwarts required. Severus saw the his own reflection we he saw Bernies-perhaps that’s why he’d always avoided her, perhaps that’s why he run to her now?    

Hexes-nasty hexes flew out of Severus’s mouth swiftly to punish those who find pleasure in others pain. He’d show them how good he could fight like a wizard! His left arm crashing into whomever didn’t duck for cover, pushing girls over and causing them to stumble into the ground or cast a jinx quick enough. The element of surprise would soon ware off, but panic had sunk into the girls, with the boys out (thinking that Regulus was getting the _job_ done) no one actually knew how to duel properly, and physically they couldn't even imagine curling a fist like a muggle.

He caught a glance of Bellatrix, not hesitating-for that was the trick of beating an opponent as vicious as Bellatrix, never hesitate “Dolor in artus!” he cast at her, she yelped and dropped her wand, before crumbling to the floor.

“Mudblood!” she screamed while clutching at herself before letting out a scream.

The girls ran off, some of the bold ones attempted to jinx Severus, but one good look at Severus’ ugly snarling face and they clamped their mouths shut-or perhaps it was his shirt state? He couldn't blame them his body wasn't exactly dream worthy. He was never going to be a good sight to see, pail and skinny with purple bruises and odd colored blotches from yet another failed experiments.

He heard crying, looking to his left, he finally spotted Miss. McKlain, she laid curled in a ball in nothing but her panties, arms wrapped around her breast while she cried into the blush carpet. Boils and soars could be seen on her back and legs, her once mid-length blond hair fallen off onto piles on the floor-her head bald. _Woman can be really fucked up_

 Severus approached her, laying a hand one her shoulder, the 6th year whimpered and tried to get away, only to get tangled with her knees. “Calm down it’s me-the half-blood” he wrapped one arm around her, lifting her up. “Can you walk” his even voice asked, Bernies nodded, shakily they made their way out, not looking at the rage-full body of Bellatrix Black.

Grabbing one of the covers from the girl’s beds he covered her up before walking to Madam Pomfrey’s medical wing.  

\------------------------------------- General world-----------------------------------

 

Madam Pomfrey had gone through and experienced the oddest of teen behaviors, even what she was looking at now. A werewolf and his mate. She had tended to Remus since he first came here, watched him suffer the cruelest curse any being could have to live with. Normally crippling him for days.

 

But now looking at the teen, you’d think he was just suffering from a cold. He looked enchanted with the dark haired boy in front of him. Completely enthralled with his one. She had seen as well as experienced what happened to a bond once the ‘ones’ consummate their union. Becoming selfish with each-other’s attention and love. The bond devoured everything. Thoughts, feelings, time, and space, everything was giving to the bond to each other. Any outside interference would be eliminated, the two were most likely in the 1st stage.  Adoration and devotion.

 

There are studies that during the 1st stage indicating that if anything could be virtually over looked. Past infractions, family problems, and even past lovers could be ignored by both participants, so long as they’re together they can overcome anything.  She sighed just wait till stage 4 kicks in-Doom and Desperation.

 

Eventually she got so sick at seeing their young love that she gave Sirius permission to take Remus back to their dorm. If there was a little more groping with the teen’s interaction then necessary, she respectfully ignored it.

 

It was the situation that came after the werewolf and his mate that had her gasping for breath.

 

Two teens, one shirtless- a clear break of dress code rules-  and the other barely covered burst into Hospital Wing like two vampires at a blood convention. Bald, pale, and bloody.

 

“What has happened? Explain yourself at once” the matriarch rushed over, taking the shaking girl from the young man

 

“She needs help!”

 

“Madam Pomfrey, please she-“ the girl hurled herself towards Severus.

 

“Shut up! Shut up! Please I can’t bare it! Shut up!” her voice cracked at the end before she passed out, Lucky for them all Madam Pomfrey was stronger than she looked and a quick draw, she elevated Ms. McKlain to the nearest bed.

 

“Severus, explain yourself.” She had expected a rushed explanation, an accusation or even a bold faced lie, all the things she’s heard the young Slytherin do in the past-Severus was good at all of these things. What she had not expected was silence. Complete silence.

 

Looking over the teen, she noted that his eyes looked intensely to the unconscious girl, the rest of his body unmoving.

 

“Very well, are you-then get dressed.” Not in the mood for teenage drama she gave Severus medical gowns to wear and directed him to another bed, after all it had only been yesterday night that his fever had broken, the boy still looked pale and getting paler. “I will be informing the headmaster. Do not leave your bed.” She drew the curtains around herself and the girl. The wounds weren't serious and wouldn't leave scars. It looked like the cause of her unconsciousness is more do to panic than anything else. 

 

She soon felt the curtains being pulled back and a body moving in to join her. “I told you not to leave your bed.”  She hissed

 

“I know Madam, it’s just-I need to be here with her.” Madam Pomfrey looked at the boy, really looked at him. Severus looked tired, dirty from sweat, an exhausted expression plastered across his pale face. She knew that he was not healthy, she also knew that the girl laying in front of them was not Severus Snape’s one, not giving him the permission to disobey her orders to be near Ms. McKlain. But the look of desperation and need made her second guess, and if he was, then Bernice McKlain would heal quicker-but if he wasn’t…. 

 

“Very well.” She worked in silence, watching Severus from the corner of her eyes. He did not seek physical contact like a bond would, neither did he seem to be keeping a close eye on her face, hands or body. He seemed on edge; perhaps for good reason when the sound of Bellatrix Black screeching could be heard coming from down the hall. “Goodness, have the Slytherins decided to give me a heart attack!” running as fast as her short legs could take her, she rushed to care for the hysterical Slytherin.

 

“Explain yourselves!” Severus didn't even look to see what had happened. 

 

\---------------------------- Severus Snape------------------------------------------

 

 

The irony of the situation didn't escape him. Bellatrix had lied for them-well for the house. To protect the honored tradition of persecution and bullying with in their house, she had given a shameless bold face lie to Madam Pomfrey.

 

“It was an accident really- Severus and Bernice have been…having sexual relations-we were curious and didn't realize that the room was warded. We spooked the poor girl really.” She glanced at Severus every so often, cruelty and vengeance still burning in dark eyes. “How did you remove all those ropes off of her so quickly?” She tilted her face in mock innocence.

 

Madam Pomfrey turned to look at him “You did this to the girl?” she said, horror showing on her face.

 

He should have guessed that even suffering in pain and humiliation Bellatrix Black would still look for a way to pin it on Severus. So very Slytherin, but she forgot she wasn’t the only snake in the grass.

 

“It’s something I like to do.” The small shaky voice of a newly conscious Bernice said. Startling everyone in the room “Bellatrix startled me and the ropes burned me-when the wards activated.” She coughed, Severus raising an eyebrow at the show. “You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about.”

 

“We most certainly do, my girl.” The wise voice of headmaster Dumbledore echoed from further down the beds, Severus felt his heart quicken “To clear up the confusion that is.” He watched them from his half-mooned spectacles slowly walking towards them. “Well.” He stated when arriving.

 

“Ah-yes…” Bernice looked like she’d just swallowed a bug, Not that Severus could blame her, it had taken all of his will power to successfully lie to Albus Dumbledore the first time, he doubted that water half-baked lie she was about to say was going to convince the headmaster. “It’s embarrassing sir but-its bondage.” She looked away, everybody but perhaps Severus himself (years of practicing with covering up other peoples lies) looked baffled.

 

“B-B-bondage.” Bellatrix said, her mouth gaping open, as if she couldn't believe the kind of lie Bernice McKlain could cook up in such a short moment.

 

“Yes that’s right Bella.” Bernice said flashing a shy smile at her audience while simultaneously grasping Severus’s hand. “Severus and I are part of the Bondage dominance and Submissive underworld.” She starts to cry, this girl actually can produce fake tears, some part of the Severus more cynical part wondered of the show of weakness displayed at the girls dorm was fake “It-it’s just that we haven’t found our ones and the bondage allows us to feel some sort of bond and connection! We-”

 

“That’s enough explanation Ms. Bernice” Dumbledore said “well it seems that these injuries where accidental-for the most part.” His cool eye glided over to look Severus, Severus met it dead on. “Severus my boy-do….”

 

“Yes Headmaster.” Severus didn't let him finish, acting the role of an embarrassed closeted kinky teenager, the headmaster seemed relieved for the interruption.

 

“Well then, no harm done.”

 

“Albus!”

 

“Now now, it was an honest accident, let the two of them compose themselves and Ms. Black get some rest.”  The head master turned, ready to leave. “ah but Severus, do stop by my office before you leave.” Catching the headmasters eye, Severus knew that the clever Albas Dumbledore was not fooled.  “And bring Mr. Black.” Severus stiffened no, the headmaster was not fooled at all.

“Yes headmaster.” 

“you children always find ways to surprise me.”

 

When all was said and done, the headmaster gone, Poppy fetching potions from the back room and Bellatrix was in a potion induced comma to keep her from moving around and hurting herself Severus and Bernice shared a good long look at each other. Never had Severus have thought Bernice McKlain, the daughter of a church decen, capable of such wickedness, he saw her in a new light, a greener, more Slytherin light. I guess there really was a reason for her being put in Slytherin, Severus thought. She was more like him than she thought.

 

“Hey Snape.”

 

“McKlain”

 

“Thanks.”

 

 

They had covered for each other, saved themselves from the world knowing their dirty laundry by exposing a secret that could never truly harm them-Submissive and Dominance indeed.  If only it had worked, at least the distraction had given him time to come up with a more believable lie to produce to the headmaster.  He didn't know if he could tell the truth, Bernice had expressed that she wanted no one to know of her humiliation other than of course the whole Slytherine house.  Could he protect her?  Should he? Who would protect him? Bernice? Unlikely she’s more Slytherine that he had given her credit for; she only lied to protect herself not Severus. NO he'd have to keep a close eye on her, a very close eye.

 

“Lean in Bernice, I've got a spell that will grow hair back.” 

 after all keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go you guys! lots of thanks to my Beta! couldn't do it without her, she keeps things real.  
> like always if something seems off with the characters please tell me, so i can fix it, or do better in the next chapter, all comments are read by me! and I love them!


	5. it gets better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snow ball affect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'D REALLY LIKE SOME COMMENTS!  
> Lots of thanks to my beta, and I hope you like this chapter.

Later on that night, Severus made his way to Dumbledore’s office, the sound of his footsteps his only companions down the empty hall. He was still wearing his hospital gown over the baggy pants he’d gone to bed with the night before. With some effort, he was able to hold his pants up and slink unseen from shadow to shadow, having no need to bring more attention to himself.

 

With what Bernice said and with what happened with Lovegood he was sure people would be thinking Severus was some kind of freak with a blood kink.  At least he’d grown his hair back, thanks to Lily whom taught Severus the spell the winter she got gum in her hair and needed to cut it off. Lily had wept over that chunk of hair like a mother would cry over a miscarried child, even after her locks where restored to their former glory. Bernice had been thrilled to grow her smooth locks back.

 

When Severus finally made it to the gargoyle he was surprised to see it already opened awaiting his entrance with Regulus Black standing by it. The heir shuffled from foot to foot awkwardly, looking at Severus through his lashes.

 

“Black? I sent a house elf to fetch you.”

 

“She came…I was already here.” He barely whispered, his voice hushed. 

 

“And why would that be? pleading your innocence?” Severus hissed, “Or do you plan on pinning everything on me? Because if you really had one iota in you, you would. And why not, since you've already proven to us both how low you’re willing to drag your sorry excuse of-“

 

“I came to the headmaster as soon as you left this morning!” Regulus shouted, taken him aback by the normally quite boy’s outburst for a moment before Severus narrowed his eyes.

 

“Bravery does not suit you.”

 

“But it can be found in the darkest of places, my boys.” The two teens whipped their head back to see the tall ever looming presence of Albus Dumbledore. “Severus, do not turn on your friends so quickly, young master Black did not cast a dark light on you when he told me what had happened.” Severus stiffened, no way, Regulus would not have had the will to talk about what was supposed to happen to Severus this morning.  “Shall we proceed to my office.” That was not a question, and the three of them made their way to the trinket filled office of the headmaster.

 

“I-I told him the truth Severus…all of it.” All of it? Severus doubted it.

 

“Liar.” Severus knew that Regulus would never risk dishonouring his family.

 

“All of it Severus, Mr. Black here has expressed to me what has been happening in your respectable house. As well as the role he has played in the past.” Regulus stood uncomfortable in front of Dumbledore’s desk. “Why don’t you sit down boys, and start from the beginning. Lemon drops?” the headmaster hand waving casually to the round yellow monster he thought to be treats.

 

And they did, Severus kept putting in more and more detail trying to see just how much Regulus had actually said, sometimes he purposely left things out, and was surprised when the younger boy jumped in to fill in the missing information. Regulus had even told them about secret meetings and how Bellatrix had half the house black-mailed and the other half completely terrorized. Then Regulus had informed them that the only true vendetta Bellatrix had was her undying hate towards Severus, since both Bellatrix and Narcissa believe that Severus is Lucius Malfoys true one. That last part made Severus choke on his own saliva.

 

Him and Malfoy? Never. Sure, the older boy had taken a liking to Severus but it had never become more. It was no secret that Narcissa and Lucius were betrothed since birth and already halfway through a legal binding, but Severus was not- _is_ not the Malfoys heir’s one. And he informed them both.  Regulus then spoke about how Bernice was Rodolphus Lestrange (Bellatrix's fiancé) one and wouldn’t let her get away with it. That part nearly made Severus just keel over on the Headmaster’s desk.

 

Bellatrix apparently was just another jealous pureblood spouse, that couldn't bare sharing their significant other with someone else. A tale as old as time. The pure bloods obsession with purity had its draw back, nearly ½ of all pureblood marriages had lovers in the shadows. Bastard children, love child’s, squibs, a child born that didn't look like either of the parents, those where the common skeletons in the closets for those families. The other ½, the lucky half, never meet their ones, giving the family a chance to actually have a happy marriage. Very few wizard families ended up with the spouses being each other’s ones, even more ended up unmarried.

 

Severus’s very own mother was such a witch. She’d married her intended, and had a miserable marriage with having to put up with her husband’s one and their children while not having any of her own. Severus suspected foul play on behalf of his mother. Eileen Prince was far too vindictive. He figured that since his mother’s first husband couldn’t give her fidelity she wouldn’t give him any children to carry out the family name-a huge blow for man (according to his mother) who valued purebloodness more than the Blacks. Leaving all the half veela children of her ex-husband, bastard children with no penny to call their own and a constantly angry family. Severus’s mother filed for divorce when she turned 40 (something else completely unheard from and taboo within the wizard world) leaving her ex-husbands family name polluted, as well as tarnishing her own name-it was no wonder her family didn’t want any contact with her or her family. Eileen had been 54 when she met Tobias Snape.

 

“All of this is because of jealousy?” Severus hissed

 

“Partly.” The headmaster inclined his head to let Regulus know that he need to proceed in the information. “Most of the Slytherins really don’t like you two for being mud-non-pureblood wizards and the other half can’t stand the fact that you’re smarter than them, and that Bernice is so beautiful.”

 

“Inexcusable by all means, there is not enough reason for such an assault.” The younger boy hung his head “Nor is it enough of an excuse to physically hit one’s fellow student and unleash a violent array of hexes.” Severus looked down “You both have detention for a month and will also be reporting to the library every morning to help the library aids clean and dust books, I will be speaking to Ms. Black when she awakens so receive her own explanation. And give her a punishment adequate to her transgression.” Both boys looked at each other “You two are dismissed. Go get dressed and be on time for dinner.” They shuffled out, heads hung and eyes low.

 

The two of them walked in silence to the dorms, luckily it was empty and there was no need to explain or fight their way out. Dinner was going to be great, Severus thought sarcastically, keeping his eyes down cast when he passed the medical wing where a very angry Rodulphus Lestrange yelled at Bellatrix all the while Bernice told him to go away and that it was all his fault and she’d never become his mistress. Yes, Bernice was someone he needed to keep around, most definitely. After all he needed another test subject other than himself.

 

They slipped into the grand hall, noticed by nearly the whole Slytherin table. A silence that over took them even caught the attentions of the neighbouring Gryffindor table.

 

“Are you brave now?” Severus whispered towards Regulus

 

“If you are.” He snapped back. Severus straightened his back and squared his shoulders, with every fibre of his being radiating indifference and sat down where he always sat down. Regulus sat gingerly next to him as normal. They ate in silence-the whole table did. That is until the head master cleared his throat making all of the Great Hall fall into silence.

 

Rising to his feet the head master proceeded by giving the announcement of cancelled choir practice and rescheduled Quidditch practice. “It is hard to stand up against the wrong that this world can present us, it is even harder to stand up against the wrongness within ourselves. Today two of our finest students were faced with trials far ahead of their years and have proven that bravery can bloom within the most unlikely of people and within the darkest of places- I do believe that there are some house points to be given.” His wispy voice announced “to the young man who risked his safety to save a stranger that needed a hero-ten points.” There was a pause the old man really like to give suspense, the whispered from the table rising “to Slytherin. And to the boy who stood against the status quo to confess the truth, even when it incriminated himself in order to protect his friend-another 10 points so Slytherin.” The halls erupted into chatter, the houses sending questioning glances towards the deathly quiet green and silver students.

 

“That was very Gryffindor of you Sev.” Regulus whispered with some sarcasm, some tension relieved since being awarded with the points. "Saving strangers like some American superhero." 

 

“No more than yours, Reg.” Even Severus felt better, he felt even better when he saw Lily raising an eyebrow at him. “No more than yours.”

 

\------------------------------------------------ Lily Evans----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It wasn't that she didn't think Severus could be brave, she’d seen him be bold and even slightly shameless but bravery had always been a stretch when describing Severus. So when what happened in the Slytherin house finally got out to the rest of the school due to a few 1st year Slytherins easily persuaded by her Ravenclaw sister.

 

“My Severus did that?” she asked out loud, the Gryffindor common room filled to the brim in order to hear the latest gossip of their rivals. The friend of the cousin of the Ravenclaw girl nodded

 

“They said that he stormed into the girl’s dorm room, naked punching every girl that didn’t move out of his way fast enough.”

 

“My Severus, my best friend…” she just couldn’t believe it, it was so Gryffindor, the kind of bravery that she couldn’t wrap her head around when thinking about Severus.

 

“Yeah, and he did some kind of painful hex on Bellatrix because according to the Slytherin girls she dropped like a corpse on the ground screeching in pain. It took four girls to drag her to the infirmary.

 

“My Sev would never hit a girl! Nor run around naked!” she yelled getting on her feet, James trying to keep her seated

 

“He would if it was to protect Bernice McKlain! Apparently he and she have been into some sort of bondage relationship.” And the tale just got freakier from there. There was just no way, on Merlin’s beard for that last bit of information to be true. Severus in some kind of slave master relationship with an older girl who he’d never mentioned to Lily. Not possible.  And it was even more impossible to believe that Severus was Lucius’ real one and was trying to sabotage the Malfoy-Black union by openly dating Bernice McKlain in front of the Slytherins to rile the Malfoy and the eldest Lestrange, who is apparently Bernice’s one? And that Bellatrix had been trying to kill Severus to stop him from ruining her sister as well as her own marriage? Her Best friend did all of that without telling her? Not possible.

 

“What about Lovegood?” Frank Longbottom asked “I thought him and Snape were like the official freak couple of this school?” the girl just shrugged.

 

“No wonder the whole snake table was so silent, you could hear a pin drop there!” Peter laughed, followed by the rest of the house.

 

“Well I think its poppycock! And I’ll go see Severus myself!” Lily slipped out of James’s grip and ran into the girl dorm room. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------- Sirius-----------------------------------------------------------

 

He nearly threw up when he heard the rumour of his brother being part of the slave-bondage underworld with Severus and that Slytherin girl. He laughed at the idea of Bellatrix being hexed into a mess of misery. But he nearly passed out when he saw who was joining him and the Marauders plus Lily in detention that night. The red head was distraught with her first ever detention- it’s what she gets for thinking Severus was hers (the stupid bitch) .To be fair she hadn’t known that a late library book gave you detention.

 

Regulus and Severus sat whispering to each other a half dusted book sitting between them.

 

“Sev?” Severus looked up, his once shoulder length hair chopped down to barely past his chin.

 

“Lily, what are doing here?” she smiled sheepishly

 

“Late library book.” She smiled impishly, before sliding towards them “What are you doing here?”

 

“Regulus and I, we find it peaceful to dust books till the wee hours of the day.” He spat. Regulus smirked next to him.

 

“Very funny Severus-considering the rumours that are going around about you and Regulus that isn’t a kind of comeback you want to give…unless you two really are-“

 

“No Lillian.” The harshness of his voice only made Lily smile

 

“Oh good, because if you were I’d be very hurt that you wouldn't bother telling your best friend.”

 

“Bernice?”

 

“Oh shut up you cad!” she laughed, Sirius’s stomach churned at the look of endearment that spread between the two friends. He clutched onto Remus’s hand

 

“The three of you going to get a room or what?” Sirius spat “You’ve got some really shitty taste Reg.”

 

“No one is getting a room! Unless it’s me and Lily!” Prongs shrieked.

 

“She’d rather skin herself alive Potter.” Severus hissed

 

“I’ll skin your greasy skin first!”

 

“Stop you two, before I decide that a quetip is the instrument you’ll be using to dust each book.” The sharp voice of Irma Pince pierced the air. “And there will be no magic.”

 

He always hated that about Severus, he never outright argued with him when James was around, it was like all his rage could only be given to James not to Sirius. Severus could never give him anything. Even when it was Sirius that started it, it would be James that Severus would go out of his way to insult, curse, or hex. Not Sirius, and the few times he did aim his wrath towards Sirius, it would be swift and unforgiving but they were the moments that Sirius held dearest in his heart, right next to the first time Remus said I love you.

 

The group went about dusting the books and shelves, they weren't allowed to go into the restricted section. James trying in every opportunity  get to push the fiery red head in to a dark and secluded corner to do god knows what.

 

Time passed slowly, with James trying to keep all of Lily’s attention on him. Peter trying to dust the books without falling asleep, Remus leaning in and whispering things to him, all things that made his heart beat fast and Sirius thinking on his toes to retort with equally flowery speech about love and devotion. And Severus was too busy having inside jokes with Regulus to notice anything, least of all Sirius (since when did his brother become so chummy with Severus?”)

 

Sometime after midnight, they were dismissed.

 

“See you tomorrow!” Lily called over her shoulder, Severus had nodded and melted into the darkness of the halls, it would have been cooler if Sirius’s dull brother had melted into darkness as well instead of walking in the middle of the hall with his head clearly looking at where Severus could barely be seen.

 

The rest of the night was a quiet affair with tomorrow being a Monday, Peter looking glumly at his half-finished essay, Remus revising for the third time his own essay. Sirius just decided to go to bed, his mood soured with the unexpected closeness he discovered within Regulus and Severus.

 

He just couldn’t wrap his head around what had happened today, the rumors were wild and unbelievable. He didn't know how to feel with all the information and mostly wanted to go kick Lucius Malfoy’s ass- Not only is the cad shacking up with his cousin but dared to woo Severus on the side!? And Severus-no, _Snape_ was not only dating Lovegood, but Bernice and Lucius? And what’s up with his brother shadowing the greasy git’s every move? Sirius needed to sleep on it.

 

He dreamt that night of Severus, dark eyes looking lovingly at him, elegant fingers curling around his own, all while behind Severus the tall whip cord body of a stranger that looked slightly like Lovegood and resembled Lucius as wrapped his naked body like a snake around a helpless Severus. And all the while Severus just looked at Sirius lovingly, the sound of Moony howling in the distance. 

 

\------------------------------------------ Remus-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Moony had been restless all day, since the morning Remus’ hackles had been high, the full moon only the night before still made him slightly more wolf than human. And although Sirius’ presence made Remus feel like a new man, it didn’t stop the wolf within him from howling inside Remus’ battered body.

 

He’d spent all morning and day cuddling with Sirius, the curtain hangings drawn tight and a silencing spell cast. Later on they went to dinner, everything was fine-his plan to get Severus out of his way for Valentine’s day was seamless, not only had Snape been gone for the day of but the whole weekend. And when Severus walked into the grand hall with Remus’s future in law looking like he expected to be killed, waves of fear oozing out strong enough for Moony to pick up.

 

Every Slytherin went deathly still and silent, it was the oddest thing he’d ever witnessed in Hogwarts-and he witnessed Peter flirting with a girl before. Straining his ears to listen into the two’s conversations all he managed to hear was “Brave”, whispered between Severus and Regulus, a secret only for each other to hear. Well, and Remus.

 

It wouldn’t have taken a genius to figure out who Dumbledore was referring to, Regulus Black practically glowed with pride as did Severus, the two of them sharing a look, which he did not like and neither did Moony.

 

His food had tasted plain and Sirius’ kisses only dulled half the ache in his heart when he noticed Severus giving Regulus a slight raise of the corner of his lips.

 

When the gossip finally reached the Gryffindor common room, Moony nearly slashed out Lily’s throat, honestly the girl had James wrapped around her finger, maintained her independence and still had the nerve to call Severus hers? The rumor itself soured Remus’s mood, and the detention they had gotten for sneaking into the Hufflepuff Quidditch lockers last week did not make him feel any better.

 

And then he’s seen them. Sitting close, hidden in the dark their hands on a dusty book, the dust smeared where their hands had been clearly touching.

 

Remus could barely think straight, the over whelming feeling of jealousy consuming him in the same way the moon had last night. If hadn’t been for the bond between him and Sirius grounding him to reality, he was sure that the library would get a new red carpet. His only out lit for his frustration had been Sirius-in some way he hoped with every kiss he stole from Sirius, with every grope, rub and wink Severus would get jealous as well. Not that his dark beau paid any attention- Severus seemed completely occupied with other thoughts—mostly he bet—that stupid shy in law of Remus’s.

 

And the way they’d walked together after words, as if facing an unspoken darkness, that would most likely be the dungeons of the castle- the Slytherin house hold. But they would do it together.

 

Remus’s last thought when slipping into his own bed was that Regulus Black and Lucius Malfoy where on the same kill list as Lovegood and Lily Evans. James better move quick if he wanted to stop Moony from mutilating his one.

 

He wondered if it had been him being savagely beaten by bullies if Severus would have stormed in shirtless to save him. He dreamed sweetly that night.   

 

\------------------------------------------------ Lily Evans---------------------------------------------------

 

She wouldn’t let Severus get away with this, she’d get to the bottom of all this drama! The next morning he snatched Severus away from the breakfast table.

 

“If you skip on anything I’ll never speak to you again.”

 

“What are you referring to?”

 

“Don’t play coy!”

 

And he dished out very little, what he did do was clarify what didn’t happen.

 

“I would never subject anyone to a violent sexual behavior.” And swiftly left

 

“Wait? Does that mean you’d be subjected?!” he never looked back.

 

She hadn’t given up, during Potions she convinced Severus to at least admit that he had indeed gone in and assaulted the girls in the girl’s dorm, but it was in order to get McKlain out he excused, although Lily could see doubt and even a little guilt in those dark wholes Severus called eyes.  The rest of the day was trivial conversation about classes and how Severus fared after the fever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be a while before I write another Chapter since I'm working on a paper that needs my undivided attention right now.


	6. The will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets in deep.

Chapter # 6  
Remus

He didn’t know why he did this to himself. Honestly Remus should have known by now. Remus knew that the more room he placed between him and Severus the better Moony could be caged inside him. Yet, when Severus showed up to help the library aid’s clean up and organize books Remus had all but jumped to express his need of the dark boy’s assistance. And oh how Severus had helped alright. Bending over crates and stretching to reach under tables for hidden books. It had been too soon since the fool moon-Moony practically begged Remus to touch, poke, grope anything that was attached to Severus or is Severus. At one point Remus had to wipe saliva from his chin, and hide the quickly growing problem in his pants.

Severus was a virgin, he could sense that and not only did that please moony but Remus as well. He wasn’t sure how he’d react if he ever smelled someone else’s sent on Severus. The very idea made him want to pounce Severus right then and there, and claim him as his own. Remus knew that he was spiraling out of control, with each passing moment that he inhaled Severus’s sent Remus’s body and mind into a puddle of lust. He had thought by him concentrating on Sirius he would be able to curve his impulses the only thing that had achieved was make him more knowledge in sex and happiness and wish to have it with Severus as well. 

“Here.” Severus’s silken voiced snapped at him “I am done for today.” He got up from his crouching spot, one last dust covered book tucked under his arm another being forcefully jammed into the werewolves arms. Severus turned around his back rim rod straight.

“y-you’re leaving already?” Remus stepped closer to the boy, Severus never turning around or giving any indication that he’d actually heard Remus “I mean-we didn’t-“what? Snuggle? Snog? Make love? 

“I have done all that is required of me.” And with that, he strode out of the library, informing Pinch of his departure.  
Remus felt his blood run thin, how many times had Severus cut him off? Rebuffed him? Ridiculed and treated him little more than an inconvenient imposed on him by society. To many damn times that’s what! Severus never spared him more than a glance. Remus dreamed of slamming Severus against a wall and forcing him to acknowledge him. But as always Remus would say nothing for fear that if he called Severus out on this, he’d never see Severus again, he knew his heart wouldn’t be able to handle a fight with his one, wouldn’t be able to confront Severus confirming all of his suspicions. How would he handle Severus pointing out his short comings and informing the world how much he disdained Remus? No, he’d take everything Severus dished out to him with the same reverence he took everything Sirius gave him. His whole soul ached for Severus but he would except the scraps offered to him. He’d love his dark prince always. 

Sirius Black

When second quarter had started, Sirius wasn’t at all surprised that him and Remus had been placed in Hogwarts class of soul mates/mates/bonds and legal bindings course. It was required that at one point all students take the course, normally by 5th year. Sirius had put it off to the last possible moment, after all this course were for those who had never experience bonds and needed to know how to treat those who had bonds and ones, Sirius had his one (one of them at least) and was properly bonded (sex) only thing he needed was a legal binding. He saw no point of this class, and neither did Prongs for that matter, but Lily was taking it and Remus insisted that the class was not worth skipping out on. 

So here they were cramped in one of Hogwarts largest class rooms with 1st years, 2nd years and all the rest between 1-5th years. Sirius felt frustrated he should have taken this class his 1st year with Peter, who now had the pleasure of having a free period where he could sleep in scot free of any classes.  
The room was brightly lit, with rows and rows of desks, one row at a higher elevation then another, it reminded Sirius of a muggle theater house Remus had dragged him into a few years ago. Barely enough room for your legs, and far too close to your neighbor. The professor in-charge of the class, was Professor Marlon Skit who was also the DADA teacher for this year. Whose fuzzy hair bounced with every step she made. To stride was impressive and the noble in Sirius had to admire the presentation of herself. 

“Silence!” she called out, the liver spots on her nose twitching- or where those freckles? Whatever the case the class soon fell silent and the teacher introduce herself.

“I see a lot of familiar faces and know who can and cannot sit with each other,” her eyes darted to him and Prongs “Find a different seat Potter.” James cursed from the spot next to him and moved to sit a few rows ahead of him, some of their class mates snickering “As you well know bonds are a unique thing that happens within the magical world, In this course I will-enlighten you on what a bond is and all of it’s other known synonyms ones, mates, and what not. I will tell you what a bond can do for you and what it cannot. In this course I will also be speaking about the stages of a bond and how long they normally last. Furthermore I will educate you on how to treat those who have been newly bonded and those who have just found their one-it is a very delicate situation and fights and offence can easily happen if you do not know someone is bonded.” She stepped forward her eyes dark pools of ink, looked over the class with mild disdain “you might think you know what a bond is, but you don’t, not all bonds are what they seem or are good.” Her eyes locked onto Remus “as well as what it means to other species” Sirius wasn’t surprised that she would look at Remus after all he was a werewolf, but as long as she didn’t hurt Remus in any way, he wouldn’t hurt her either. “forget whatever nonsense your parents have told you about, forget the information you have gathered from your peers, I will give you fact, not promises, I will give you questions, not answers, I will give you the right to question and prod the world you believe you are part of-find your own truths.” 

The class whispered, both in confusion and fear, Madam Skit didn’t seem to be the type of woman that anybody wanted to mess with, if anything she sent cold chills down your spine with one glance. There were rumors of her once belong to the ministry’s special branch of interrogation and torture. 

“Turn to page 456, your first test will be next time in class. So. Pay. Attention.” A collective groan could be heard echo through the class. Ugh he already hated this class.  
moments later, Sirius had found that he loved this class, when a very disheveled Severus stumbled in late, Skit had really laid one on him about tardiness and then instructed Severus to, and Sirius quotes “Sit next to Black and make yourself unknown.” And the best part-he did-sit himself next to Sirius. 

Severus Snape

Life was out to get him. He was sure of it, not only had he been informed that he was expected to fight in the Jr. boxing match his psychotic father’ had signed him up for on the coming spring break, which had simultaneously lead to him losing the precious time he had thought he’d get to have for that five day weekend. He had experiments waiting to be done and would continue waiting if his father had anything to do with it. Then he’d come in late for class, I complete accident that did not warrant the verbal lashing that Madam Skit felt he deserved, like the whole of Hogwarts hadn’t heard the dramatic speech she gave before? And of course now he had to sit next to the very thing that made his life so damn painful. Them.  
He paid them no attention, kept his eyes forward and his body away from the warmth radiating from Black, and tried his best not to take in the musky soapy smell rolled off of the bonded pair. I guess they shower together. Severus thought bitterly, all he had was a chemical bath the night before, curtsy of Bernice. 

Since the incident, he had kept Bernice close, telling her that he was against the bonding culture and would do everything in his power to stop it. Bernice had been scandalized at first, up until then she as well as most of the wizard world had never heard of someone opposing the bonds. But there was fire in those eyes she too resisted it. Looking back, Severus believes-no- he knew that gaining Bernice as an alley as well as a supporter for his cause was the not only clever, but he had the feeling that she’d be the single most valuable chess peace he’d ever put on his board. Even if she was technically just a pawn. 

He waited patiently for days after the incident, letting her believe that she’d been the one to come and speak to him, for another week he played the part of her selfless savior, listened to her angst and trauma and all she’d gone through since the day she stepped into Hogwarts, she even confessed begging the sorting hat to be put in Slytherine in order to be closer to the older Leistrange. Which explained everything now to Severus, he’d always thought Bernice was more Ravenclaw than anything, even if she had shown some level of sneakiness and manipulation. Eventually he spoke about how he’d always believed that ones where ridiculous an indirect form of slavery. He expressed the difficulty his mother had gone through and how other (read fictional characters) had suffered in the abuse of the system. She latched on to his every word like a drowned man taking his last breath of air.  
He got her. 

She’d jumped head first into the idea of breaking the bond, their whispered conversations in-between classes and before heading into the hell they called a dorm. 

“How far have you gotten?” she hissed, after all it wasn’t every day that young wizard conspired against the very core value of all the magical world. 

“Far enough, but I need a test subject.” 

“you don’t have a test subject?” well Severus wasn’t going to give all his moves away, the less she knew and more she felt she knew, the easier she’d be to manipulate “Do you have me in mind?”

“I wouldn’t have mentioned it if you weren’t” he glance at her “Liston if you don’t want…” 

“NO, I’ll do it-I need to be free.” Severus forced himself to look her in the eyes, willing the feeling of understanding and compassion from his eyes, she really was a painful reminder of himself

“I can set you free.” She looked at him, and for the first time, in all of Severus’s life, he knew what it felt like to be counted on, to give someone hope when the world had offered them none. “I will.” He would set them both free…or die trying. 

Since that confession, they’d both made an unbreakable vow to each other, they would never speak of what they were trying to do, to anyone but each other, until the day the cure was found…not a word to anyone. 

Regardless of the promises made, Bernice had absolutely no business up-chucking all of Severus’s potion on him last night. She took one swing of his newest concoction and projectile missiles chunks of things better left unsaid all over Severus’s person. And then promptly passed out. Leading to Severus cleaning up all the mess and sleeping in, making him late to class.  
And now, he had to sit here, next to them. If next time Bernice had a slight seizure from his experiment, well Severus’s could always pretend it was an unknown side effect.  
When class was heading to its end, Severus packed his notes, all which were none, he’d read every book on bonds Hogwarts had to offer, he’d read every book ever written on bonds; memorized their contexts, studied and question every word every explanation given to him. 

“Class before you leave.” Skit said with a hand waving them to stay class, Severus suppressed a sigh “If you've noticed I have sit you in groups of three or five. There should be one pair of bonded in your group and one not, you are to interview each other a total of five times.” Severus’s heart stopped “you are to see how stress, life, and so on is lived by those of other circumstances.” Oh dear god no! He didn't dare look at either of his ‘partners’ he’d rather have another colorful thick shower from Bernice! “Don’t be shy to ask questions!” 

Thud…Thud…Thud… was he having a heart attack? Maybe…there was still 20 minutes to class end, surely she didn't’ mean to do it know? But apparently she did, each group broke off into their own private conversations. Life really does hate me.

“Should we get started?” a quiet voice said, Remus looked at him unexpectedly. Mechanically Severus turned to face the duo. “How do you want to do this?” he smiled at him-was that Black smiling at him? He was probably figuring out a way to hex or ruin his person. “How about we ask a question and then you?” Severus struggled to force himself to nod. “Alright I’ll ask a question, then you ask us a question, then Serious will ask another and we’ll go from there.” He nodded again. 

Remus Lupin

He must have done something right in his past life, because destiny kept pushing Severus his way. Severus wouldn't be able to ignore him now, no every word that Remus said would be needed by Severus and that brought immense pleasure to him. 

“Alright, my first question…what do you do to occupy your free time? Err…I mean Seri and I spend our time mostly together.” *blush* “I mean what do you do or who do you spend your time with when you’ve got free time?” he could feel Sirius’s warmth next to him. Severus looked un amused. 

“I spend my time, as I deem appropriate.” Sirius snorted next to him, Remus prayed that Sirius would not find it an appropriate time to have a row with Severus. 

“Are either of your parents with their ones?” was his question, it had taken Remus aback, he’d only thought of what he could get out of Severus, but not generally know him. 

“My parents aren’t each other’s ones, Remus’s aren’t either.” Sirius answered for them “How about yours?” 

“They are.” That answer caught both of them of guard “How has it been dealing with your family?” Severus quickly asked. 

“Oh, well we had a hard time at first, but things are much better now.” Remus said rather quickly it was still a touchy subject. “How long have your parents known each other?” 

“20 years.” 

“How old are they?” 

“72 and 79” Sirius started coughing, Severus’s parents where….old. Sure wizards lived longer than muggles but once you past the age of 50 having children was practically unheard of, at that age the woman could die or give birth to a defected child. Severus was only around 16 which meant that his parents had him at the ripe age of around 60! “What are your plans for the future?”

“What do mean?” Remus asked 

“Are the two of you planning of looking for a job similar to each other, or are you guys fallowing different disciplines?”  
Remus felt his mood sour. He hadn't planned, he couldn't-he was a werewolf he’d never be able to pursue higher education or a stable job with is condition. He felt Sirius thread his fingers threw his, a silent comfort. “We’re still deciding” it was a safe answer. Sirius kept rubbing his knuckles though. A few less interesting subject where asked before class was dismissed. Severus leaving with a flourish of his cloak bellowing behind him.

“You ok, Remy?” 

“Yes, I will be.” 

It had always been a sore spot for him. All his good marks on his grades, awards for outstanding behavior, and any other accomplished he could achieve during his short time in Hogwarts would be for not. As soon as he left the halls of the castle he’d be trapped forever in the stigma of being a werewolf. No job, place of business or curtain neighborhoods would let him in. he hated the idea of having to depend on his parents financially for an unknown amount of time, he felt even worse thinking that Sirius would have to carry with him forever as well. He felt like a failure. And he know felt silly with his obsession with Severus when he should be concentrating on find a means of living after graduation. 

Remus knew that his condition was one of the reasons Sirius was so anxious of marrying him right after graduation. The fear that his family would make it impossible for them to be together if they found out about Remus’s situation. They needed to get married before any of that happened. The Black household would publicly out him, ruining not only his life but his father’s and mother’s life as well. And there would be nowhere for him to go. And Sirius…oh Sirius, his wild spirited lover would have to live with a werewolf as a lover, and the whole world pitying him if not being completely disgusted by him. NO Remus had to focus find a way that he could succeed in life and be a valuable person for the Black house hold to have; Remus would never forgive himself if Sirius lost his family because of him. Even if Sirius would say otherwise. He’d seen the way Sirius lighted up whenever one of his parents came to see him play quiditch (a rare occurrence). He’d been spoiled and cooed over is whole life by his parents, as mean and pureblood elitist as they were, no child could ever deny the want for their parents. The need to have their approval was something even Remus felt. And for that same reason Remus need to focus.  
He needed to let Severus go. For the good of everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for taking so long, I i'm full time in school and go at a slow pace, can't promise that i'll be updating sooner, but if you nag I'll comply. Also I haven't Betad this, so expect revisions in the future. 
> 
> As always, if there's anything that seems to OC or weird, or if my grammar is truly killing you, go ahead and tell me.


	7. will be updating soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey

Hey! so sorry for the long time without update, but as promised I'll update whenever I feel like you'll nagged me enough:) my only delay right now is the that I have no Beta, if you are interested or no someone that is interested in Betaing please contact me! I would like to update by February 7 I have believe it or not most of chapter 7 done! so please contact me if you are willing to Beta. Love you guys! thanks for all the support.


	8. wow

Hey you guys I have two great News!

1\. I found a beta  
2\. I will be updating

I have some kind of bad news

I was re reading my work and realized that it well....sucks! I'm rewriting all the chapter again!, I won't be starting a new story or anything, I'm just doing some serious editing! the main story is still staying the same, so you don't technically have to re read if you don't want to. but I won't be updating until all corrections are made! 

thank you again for all the support, I have NOT ABANDONED this fic, I swear, I'm just going full time at school. I know i didn't keep my dead line, I'm really sorry about that, but! I fighting to have chapters done and new ones posted before the end of this month. 

lots of love

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment, I'm not the kind of writer that can be self motivated. I need a cheering squad. also some of these things are obviously taken out of context I am not the amazing J.K Rowling but i can't help messing with her world.


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